Todays Nude Joke

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Quote of the day

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I learn from the mistakes of others.......................who took my advice.

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Why the Hell are LED headlights legal? I'm glad you can see into the future with your bright ass headlights, but your blinding the rest of us.

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Ditto I hate them too

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If you see me out for a run, Please kill whatever the hell is chasing me.

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Note from wife...Hey Sweetie, was called to work, dinner is on the stove, you only have to light it, the gas is already turned on...Love you xxx

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Wife.....l'm Pissed!----Husband....Again or Still?

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If a man says he will fix it, he will...there is no need remind him every 6 months

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I used to date a girl who had a parrot, dam thing never shut up, but the parrot was cool though.

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Please let me have 3 shots of Grey Goose, or would it be Grey Geese? What the hell, give me a flock of Vodka.

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I asked my girlfriend to bring me a screwdriver, she asked me, Flathead, Phillips, or Vodka... And that was when l knew she was the one.

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Just bought some condoms and the casher asked if i needed a bag, l said No, she's not that ugly.

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