Nude alone w/clothed wife - question
Return to DiscussionsAt first, I posted this in the "Nude alone etc" thread but then
realized it might be considered a hijack. So I deleted it
right quick and posted here. Anyhow, this had its origin in the
other thread.
I have a question. Were y'all already married when you found
nudism? Or did you get married knowing that your bride wasn't
into it? I've lately had thoughts about marrying my current
girlfriend. She's fine with my nudism but says she won't go there
until she loses weight. Problem is, I know her well enough to know
that she'll never get around to losing weight. So while my right
brain wants to marry her, my left brain keeps asking "are you
NUTS??". If you had it to do over again, what would you
do?
Edit: by the way, I'm just assuming that since your wife is not
into nudism, she won't see what your answer is here. But you're on
your own so don't blame me for any consequences lol!
Yep, I think she probably would if she lost the weight. But that's a big "if". And I'm no longer counting on it no matter how much incentive she finds. She's tried and failed so many times, she has actually come to believe it's impossible. I still try what you've suggested but it's not easy without being perceived as being pushy. So I seldom have any success. But she's even okay with me doing day visits to nudist parks & beaches etc. So as long as she trusts me, and is fine with my nudity, I tend to thank my lucky stars and leave well enough alone (for now).
I suppose, if you're questioning being naked around your wife why marry her? Of all the people you should have no inhibitions being around it should be your spouse. If you want to be a naturist but feel that your spouse may not like it, test the water, tell her, you never know... I took my wife to Clover Spa in B'ham and she loved it. I tried having a naked night at home, she wasn't into it, no matter, we have never shied away from each others bodies, and thats the way it should be...
I'm curious as to the answers or reasons why, some of those that have non participating spouses, they are against simple nudity at home. Can some of you elaborate?
Speaking from my 1st marriage the Ex related it to sexual. The fun loving rock star I married morphed over time into the complete likeness of her mother. That included being a home dictator that had zero interest in sex except to get pregnant. That old saying that your marrying your mother in law came true both times in my case. My mother in law for the past 16 yrs is one of the neatest people I know.
My wife does not have an issue with me being nude in the house. She does not have an issue with people who enjoy being nude. She says she is just not comfortable being nude. I think wearing a nightie and a warm sweat shirt is a comfy feeling. I would like her to spend more nude time with me, but as long as she is OK with me wearing nothing at home, it is fine. She even suggested (not sure how serious she was) that I could have a friend over. Still working on that. Have to find a friend who is fine being a nude male with a clothed female.
Have to find a friend who is fine being a nude male with a clothed female.
Wait a second. That looks like an opening for discussion to me. Was she specific about "a friend"? As in just one? What about 2 friends? For example, a male/female couple? I'm thinkin' that if she hits it off with them, it could be the enticement she needs to join in. Whutcha think?
There is compromise in every marriage and relationship ... or rather, there should be! Di isn't naked 100% of the time. She gets chilled easily and will slip on a sheer house dress, a sweater and even a long flannel shirt. Half the year or moreshe's barefoot and the other half or less she's got flip flops or slippers on. She's not fond of the tile floors when they are cold.
I think a good compromise is a non participating spouse that is willing to allow the nudist spouse to live as they prefer, within reason. Many situations may call for the nudist to dress and that shouldn't be an issue but when the opportunities arise, the nudist should be able to live nude, sun nude, sleep nude and lounge about nude without reprisal.
It's really a shame so many of you have to have these issues with something so simple as your preference for living nude.
The word respect has been mentioned and I feel it us the key to any ongoing relationship.
My situation is a little different in that my wife is happy nude but is no longer comfortable with social nudism. I am generally nude at home if just the two of us and she is often. Fortunately we have a private pool and adjoining area and she enjoys our nude time in the pool. In earlier years I was possibly more reluctant than she about nude beaches but after our first visit we often sought them out. Some males do not respect that women are wired differently and when an insensitive male (who surprisingly enough operates a naturist resort and ought to know better, made some throw away comments, she announced that she NEVER wanted to participate in social nudism again. Yes she is very self conscious about her added weight. Anyway I accepted that and indeed cancelled our booking at another naturist resort only to be asked why. Her comment was that she respects my right to go to Tha and other resorts if I respect her right not to. So once respect is core then there can be no argument.
There is compromise in every marriage and relationship ... or rather, there should be! Di isn't naked 100% of the time. She gets chilled easily and will slip on a sheer house dress, a sweater and even a long flannel shirt. Half the year or moreshe's barefoot and the other half or less she's got flip flops or slippers on. She's not fond of the tile floors when they are cold. I think a good compromise is a non participating spouse that is willing to allow the nudist spouse to live as they prefer, within reason. Many situations may call for the nudist to dress and that shouldn't be an issue but when the opportunities arise, the nudist should be able to live nude, sun nude, sleep nude and lounge about nude without reprisal.It's really a shame so many of you have to have these issues with something so simple as your preference for living nude.
Di has a friend in my wife Tammy, anything below 26degC is cold. Even a cool breeze on a hot sunny day can make her grab a covering. This is because back in her home country (Vietnam) its 30 plus nearly everyday and not often below 28 degC at night. Same goes for the tiled floors she wears scuffs in the house and never goes outside barefoot as unfortunately The streets are not clean.
Do I complain? No I just compliment her when she is nude which is more now she is acclimatising with the cooler Aussie weather, but unfortunately we are heading back to Vietnam in a few weeks so who knows how we will fare.
My question would then be ... "why is it wrong to be caught naked
in your own home?"
Andy this is a point that of course I've thought about as I find it a
bit frustrating. We do the mad clothes dash when the unexpected knock
at the door happens and feel like 'Oh we can't get caught like this?'
My wife usually has that panicked flush look of embarrassment each time
while she is dressing at warp speed. She's thinking they know we
probably were naked. I think 'So what?' Personally I'm very proud she
is a nudie.
When we started being home nudist she asked me "What
if company walks in and catches us?" I told her more than once to act very natural, if
anyone should feel awkward it's them for walking in and finding us
naked. Not us for being naked it's our home. That's what I do when it's
happened over the years but she still gets all embarrassed.
At first, I posted this in the "Nude alone etc" thread but thenrealized it might be considered a hijack. So I deleted itright quick and posted here. Anyhow, this had its origin in theother thread.I have a question. Were y'all already married when you foundnudism? Or did you get married knowing that your bride wasn'tinto it? I've lately had thoughts about marrying my currentgirlfriend. She's fine with my nudism but says she won't go thereuntil she loses weight.
I've been around a whole lot of nekkid people in the past 20 years and they are an entire spectrum of shapes, seizes, heights and weights. In all the reluctant spouse posts I've read in different site the number one issue is weight and body image.
Not to rain on your parade, but there's almost noting you can do to change someone's mind. You just have to set a good example, let your wife see that nudity is not perverted and maybe leave out articles on reluctant spouses and how they changed their own opinion of themselves. Your wife will need to reverse her own thinking because if you try to force the issue you'll just make her more resistant.
I had read an article or two in the Sunday section of the newspaper. I suggested the Terra Cotta when we were attending a conference in Palm Springs. She kept her doubts about nudism being a sex club to herself and immediately came around to accepting it when she saw how ordinary everyone was and how they weren't swingers. If we were able to re-join Glen Eden she would be camping there enthusiastically on her own without any reservations. We discovered it together and she never had any problems with body image despite the normal post childbirth and aging weight problems.
Its all a personal mental acceptance.