Negotiating nudism with a spouse.
Return to DiscussionsSo I had an interesting conversation with the wife this morning that I thought was worth posting about.
Quick background summary: my wife tried beach nudism a few years ago, had a negative experience, and nudism subsequently "came off the table." Last year nudism "came back on the table" and she agreed to give social nudity another chance; this time at a C/O resort (with the stipulation she may or may not disrobe.) Long story short she ended up not only nude but enjoying resort nudism a great deal. This positive experience led a few more nudist resort trips.
But then we hit a bit of a "wall"; as I would like to make social nudity a more regular activity, and she's happy with a couple of times a year. A few weeks ago we discussed her "self-consciousness" and the fact that even though she does go naked at the resort, she doesn't stay naked outside the pool area and still tends to cover up when walking around. She admitted that even though she has started enjoying the nudist environment, she still doesn't feel confident enough to be naked there "all the time." But - and that's the good news - she can appreciate the fact that I would like her to be "naked all day" with me. But the "quandary" is that her confidence is not going to increase with just a couple of trips every year. For women who are not "nudist-inclined", it can take a lot of practice to get to the point where they are confident enough to be naked the entire time they are in a social nudist situation.
So this morning. Nudism came up in casual conversation after she started discussing wanting to spend a week at an all-inclusive textile resort this winter. To me, the very notion of spending a week in a tropical location where I can't be naked outside is abhorrent. But the opportunity to negotiate was there. We went back and forth, discussed it rationally, negotiated...and came to an agreement. I agreed to spend a week at a textile resort (and not pout the entire time lol); and she agreed to monthly nudist trips. Sure, I would prefer two overnight trips a month; but the important thing is that we're BOTH getting something we want - as opposed to nothing. I believe that with such regular outings at the same resort we will start connecting with people, making friends; and that my wife will eventually get to be a confident nudist. But it's the journey that matters most; not the destination (not to sound too cliche' lol!).
I understand that some of us here are either: at a point where nudism is not even on the table (yet); or at a point where social nudity is already a permanent, habitual part of your lives. But at any of these points, the ability to negotiate is still important. From negotiating a first-time nudist outing, to negotiating a number of monthly trips or venues; the ability to effectively communicate and reach a consensus is important. Otherwise one part of the couple might feel alienated or forced; and that's when you run into issues. But if just talking about nudism is completely off the table - or immediately conjures a strong negative emotional reaction; then this is all moot.
There will be a lot of men out there jealous of you.
I have not got to the point you have, but I am at the point where she is okay with me being naked at home (when her parents go home) and is okay with my visits to my local swim. She has also been on two beach visits and gone topless twice while I've been naked.
As you say, discussion and compromise is the key. We are on a journey and who knows where it will lead.
We, in an INDIAN city, experience nudity in our home during summers as, keeping cloths in hot summer is a pain. We would like to experience and share if any tourists travel to INDIA, where myself can be your guide as well as we can meet with you both. Thanks and cheers.
Your situation is so real.
It so coincides with that of mine. Anyways let it going the way it tends to ..... I have observed that ladies may like to stay nude all through but with other men around they might naturally get conscious of there body and try to squeeze in. However in an environment where no one is like bothered about others....the situation is different and more comfortable.
Soon after I met my wife, it became apparent that I prefer swimming and sunbathing with nothing on.
She was a bit reluctant, sometimes made jokes or comments on the subject on the subject. But she joined me at nude beache son nearby lakes, went to sauna events with me. When going on vacation, I had figured out the nude beaches upfront and she joined me. She also undressed. What she absolutely hates are these cliche-single men strolling around the beaches gawking at girls and women. When she observes them touching themselves, its all over for here. We ahd a number of occasions like this.
Over the years and after our son was born, her shyness developed even more.
We went to Fuerteventura two years ago, where a lot of people are naked on the beach.
I walked around all the time, she didnt dare.
I would really like to convince her to give nudism a new try.
This year, we are going on vacation to a Danish island famous for its nude beaches. Maybe this is a chance.
Negotiating wid spouse over any topic is always a challange. & whn it comes to nudism, baring it all to strangers is an individual's choice. Fitness is d key factor for women abt nudism. If she is fit enough, she will show off.
Check out her fitness aspect. U'll get wht u want.