Wives being "weird" about social nudity
Return to DiscussionsThere have been topics about "head-scratching" moments with our wives...so I decided to make it a thread. For fun and perhaps some education.
My first wife started out "reluctant" like many wives. On her first trip, after initially wearing a sundress, she decided to change into a short T-shirt (actually going bottomless) and agreed to be nude after a while - but only in the sauna and the hot-tub - because no one could see her naked there. She was quite resolute about not anyone seeing her fully naked. But as we got ready to leave later on, in the midst of changing, she spontaneously decided to go to the front office and have a chat with the owner before leaving. And so she tossed her clothes in the front seat, and proceeded to walk over to the office...naked. And for 15-20 mins, she conversed with the owner, fully naked in front of him, with no sign of self-consciousness whatsoever. When we left, she did not say a word about it; as though it'd never even happened.
Then , there was the "sarong era." While laying nude in the back of the pool area at the resort, my wife would keep her sarong on her thighs, for the sole purpose of quickly pulling it up if someone walked a little "too close." And that was "weird." Occasionally someone would drop by and try to talk to her, and she'd instantly pull her sarong up over her chest. It was a little embarrassing too. The other "weird" part about it: if she got up to talk a walk or go to the restroom, she would tie it loosely; often with just one knot to the front or side. The "effect" was that it would open up with a simple gush of wind; or a boob or buttcheek would pop out of the side. Yet, she showed no self-consciousness about her parts "peek-a-booing." That "era" actually lasted a couple of years, into our foray into non-landed nudism.
And it finally ended during one particular trip at a non-landed club. She was in a room with other women; and the only one wearing a sarong. I don't know who talked her into putting it away; but she deserves a medal. That would be the first time was wife was truly socially nude.
She then entered a new "interesting" phase after the loss of her sarong. It was almost "competitive." She decided to "go smooth." She would undress on the way to the resort and already be naked by the time we got there. If there was an event at the resort, she'd volunteer. She'd easily take to being the center of attention; sometimes even seeking it out by being "exuberant" and fun. At the non-landed club she might decide to stay naked as everyone was leaving and help the hosts clean up. Yet, she would still get shy from time to time for no apparent reason.
Not every woman's journey in nudism is the same; and sometimes a non-nudist upbringing intersecting with nudist culture can result in these "odd behaviors." But looking back, it actually makes (a little) sense: my wife was struggling with body-image.
- Why did she spontaneously decide to chat with the WTP owner naked after saying she didn't want anyone to see her nude?
My analysis: she was "testing" herself. After spending all day "hiding", she decided she didn't want to leave without giving social nudity a shot; and seeing how someone would "act" towards her if she was naked in front of them. She figured the owner was the perfect person for her "experiment", since he was alone in the office and undoubtedly used to interacting with all types of people naked. And he seemed trustworthy.
- Why was she self-conscious about laying down nude but not about walking around partially nude?
It was about being looked at directly by a stranger while nude. She wasn't ready for the potential of "wandering eyes" while being in a static, "stuck there naked" position. The "barely tied sarong" allowed her move around feeling like she wasn't completely hiding; while at the same time feeling covered.
- Why the sudden "enthusiasm" being socially nude? And getting shy?
It was brought on by two things: my wife suffered from body-acceptance issues. So when she finally got rid of the sarong, and saw that she easily blend into the nudist environment naked, it "liberated her." And she "ran with her newfound sense of freedom"; perhaps to a greater degree than many other women, because she was a naturally exuberant woman.
The other thing was one person. We made friends with another couple. The female part of the couple, Allison, was an experienced confident nudist. That's where the "competition" part came in. If Allison was going to drive to the resort in a sarong, my wife was going to ride with her naked. If Allison was going to check in to the resort naked, so was my wife. If Allison had done cartwheels naked, my wife would have done backflips lol! But thank you Allison.
Yet, every now and then, something would remind her that she wasn't always happy with her body. It might have been a "skinnier person" in our midst. The fact that she was enthusiastically naked didn't always mean she was happy with the way she looked nude.
Anyway, if you dig hard enough, you might find the underlying reason for why wives sometimes "act weird" in social nudist situations. And learn more about what makes your wife "tick" from it.
Our beginning, with social nudism, started at one of our local beaches. The beach was a good start for Di because we could plant ourselves on the outskirts of the main body of nudists and she could observe. That was the intent but she was very hesitant at observing. Her thoughts were that she was "checking them out," and from all our discussions about where you're eyes should be focused, she seemed to focus on areas where you're supposedly not to stare. Through that summer, she got more and more confident and within a short time, she was jumping up from her chair and suggesting a walk on the beach. Strange because she does not like to be looked at and truthfully, ALL nudists look, but she became fine with it and carried on. Talking about it, she realized that she took the "keep eye contact" meant while you're talking with someone and not so much while your sitting in your chair in the sand or taking a walk and you people watch, just like when they are clothed.
Strange thing is, Di is so much more comfortable naked at the beach. She seems to be in her element BUT... doesn't like the trek you have to make to get to many nude/clothing optional beaches. She's not very sure footed and one tiny slip can ruin the entire trek to the sand and the rest of the day. One of the reasons we don't visit our only local nude beach anymore. The trek down and back up is nerve wracking for her and makes the day less desirable. Talking about it, she explained how her fear of heights, not being sure footed and an issue with a knee finally surfaced. Once she opened up, there was no question that trips to this beach were not worth the pain to the knee and nervous system.
Resorts and clubs are another head scratcher. When we arrive at our club, for a day use day, we strip at the car, gather our things and walk to the pool area. We're naked except for carrying a large bag, a cooler and an umbrella. Not much of her body is covered but once at the lounges, the sarong will come out and she wraps herself in it to go to the bathroom. She comes back wearing the sarong and takes it off, stands and looks around a little and then lies down and begins to relax? Another trip to the bathroom with the sarong but will emerge holding the sarong and then the sarong is put in the bag, never to be seen again. Clubs and resorts can be a bit more intimate and close quarters for Di. She will usually wear a sarong or SPF shirt if we're out and about walking around. Usually she takes it off after a few minutes but will put it back on if we approach a group of people. Later in our stay, she'll be fine with being completely naked with this same group. It's as if she needs to check you out first to make sure you're not into any funny business before she'll commit completely to being completely naked with you. Talking about it, seems that those first couple of times we got hit on at a nude beach resort, stuck with her. She missed the signs those times and doesn't want to be in that situation again. Understandable for someone that has really led a somewhat sheltered life but has come out of her shell being married to me!
Di, like many other nudist women, can change her mind and mood rapidly. Sometimes, she is right out there with the crowd, naked and having a good time. Next, she hunkered down with a sheer cover up and a book. I don't push or even nudge her to do what she doesn't want to do. Most times she's right there with me and you can't tell who's the more hardcore nudist but other times, I wonder if she is really into this as much as she says she is. I take what I get and don't complain. At least she talks to me about what's bugging her in certain situations. I do my best to fix those so she continues to visit places and enjoy this lifestyle with others that also live nude.
Liz right now is going through what I would call an "exploratory phase." Now that she has a healthy level of "naked confidence", she has been open to trying new "levels" of social nudity: such as extended nudity (staying naked over 2-3 days), different activities (paddle-boarding is her favorite) and extensive socialization. Her new "thing" is introducing friends of ours to nudism; which is supposed to happen next month.
But I don't expect this will last forever. We are middle-aged; and that comes with some eventual setbacks. And she might get "weird" with the effects of aging. I know I can't take anything "for granted."
With my Luann she knows of her body changes and it does not seem to phase her. She has said she has earned her every wrinkle. She knows her shape to a degree as life goes on and she goes on being happy about life. I have zero clue from weekend to weekend at the club just how nude she will be. Flat out naked and then at times somewhat covered with a soronge or short shorts. Of course as an ignorant male to question this mystery does show my ignorance. LEAVE IT ALONE. It's not as easy as it would seem to shut the hell up but when your career for 35 yrs to figure out how to figure out and how to get broken equipment fixed and design mechanical systems around impossible architectural blue prints.
It's not my Luann's problem it's a Rockdad thing. I'm wired to figure things out and with her there is really actually nothing to figure out, I continually work on turning my switch to off when it comes to figuring why she does what she does. I'm blessed she knows me well and sees my efforts and gives me a pass when I open my pie hole once in a while.
With my Luann she knows of her body changes and it does not seem to phase her. She has said she has earned her every wrinkle. She knows her shape to a degree as life goes on and she goes on being happy about life. I have zero clue from weekend to weekend at the club just how nude she will be. Flat out naked and then at times somewhat covered with a soronge or short shorts. Of course as an ignorant male to question this mystery does show my ignorance. LEAVE IT ALONE. It's not as easy as it would seem to shut the hell up but when your career for 35 yrs to figure out how to figure out and how to get broken equipment fixed and design mechanical systems around impossible architectural blue prints.It's not my Luann's problem it's a Rockdad thing. I'm wired to figure things out and with her there is really actually nothing to figure out, I continually work on turning my switch to off when it comes to figuring why she does what she does. I'm blessed she knows me well and sees my efforts and gives me a pass when I open my pie hole once in a while.
I totally agree it is a struggle for us Ignorant Males that try to fix everything we see to stay the f* out of our ladies minds and stay quite my wife is going through some of this and all I can do is smile and say yes dear