Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
What is male bonding to you ?
Return to DiscussionsHey guys, I'm starting this thread because I want to know what your idea of male boding is. Why are you here and what are you looking for ? I'm sure I will get different responsesdepending on whether your straight, gay or bi. I also know there will be people who strongly disagree with peoples responses. Everyone's idea onmalebodingwill be different in this group. I saw a threadwhere a few guys see this group as a sex group because someonemention having sex with who they were with. This made me think aboutthe group, so I started this thread. I don't like the idea of relating sex with nudism or this group, that is just my opinion. I found 2 definition in the web encyclopedia that I agree with, as far as male bonding goes. One definition is on Male Bonding, the other on Friendship. Seeweb addresses.Below.I also want to say there is a time and a place for certain statements, since there is a mixture of Straight, Bi & Gay in this group.If sex is part of your bonding, maybe that detail should be left out of your posting. Thereis a large number of different sexually orientedguys in this group.I think everyone will find someone from this group they can bond with. Whatever goes on with any 2 or more people from this group is going on with them, not you.When your reading someone's post be respectful of their world and not judgmental.As I said earlier, there are a lot of guys in this group. I think you and I will be able to find someonewho is a compatible friend or friends for us in this group. Since I joined this group to make real friends, I invite you to look over my profile. If you think we could become good friends, then send me a friend request with a message.If you live close or near by me, great !!Sean
Male Bonding- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_bondingFriendship-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship
For me, talking is the most important part of male bonding. I do also enjoy physical affection but I decided that if there is no talking, there will be no physical affection. I decided that would be my standard after the nicest physical relationship I had fell apart because we failed to connect spiritually. (By the way, neither of us were gay so what I mean by physical relationship is just hugs and comfort).
I also one time met a guy who wanted to have a sexual relationship but he didn't want to connect spiritually. He even said, quote "Shut up, you're spoiling the mood." Should I not be angry at him for telling me to shut up? I will continue to spoilthat mood because that mood is not want I want. I want spiritual connection. I want someone to talk to.
However, if I can find spiritual connection with another guy, I would be willing to hug, kiss, get naked and even trade massages but that spiritual connection comes first. So to protect and promote that spiritual connection, I don't appreciate it when that moodtries to spoil the spiritual connection. It's not homophobia. I'll even hug and get naked with gay men. Just quit trying to create that moodwith me. I really do think the biggest reason why there is so much homophobia lately is because we can't get naked with the guys anymore without someone trying to create that mood.
Male bonding to me is when two guys have
gained a level of relaxation and trust with each other that they can be open to
their emotional side of their personality. That means being able to talk
intimately about anything or everything. It means that being together is
important. Sittingtogether watching a movie, or playing or listening to music, or playing an indoor
game (playstation, Xbox, board games etc), or a more physical outdoor game, or sitting
having a chat over a beer or wine or meal, or cuddling and hugging are all
significant male bonding activities.
Giving and receiving a massage is a deeply physical and emotional bond
and can be sensual if the guys are so inclined.
Nude male bonding is a significantly
deeper emotional and spiritual experience, as both guys are hiding neither
their bodies nor their inner thoughts from each other. It is deeper than a normal friendship.
So Talking is the key.
Physical attraction, and a sexual
component can be simply lust and have no bonding component whatsoever. Yes, sex it can be a significant component to
the bonding in many cases, but most cases it is seeking physical release, not
real male bonding which will last.
In some of these cases am I discussing
love. Love of a friend and the ensuing
friendship that will last.
Just my 10 cents worth
For me, talking is the most important part of male bonding. I do also enjoy physical affection but I decided that if there is no talking, there will be no physical affection. I decided that would be my standard after the nicest physical relationship I had fell apart because we failed to connect spiritually. (By the way, neither of us were gay so what I mean by physical relationship is just hugs and comfort).
I also one time met a guy who wanted to have a sexual relationship but he didn't want to connect spiritually. He even said, quote "Shut up, you're spoiling the mood." Should I not be angry at him for telling me to shut up? I will continue to spoilthat mood because that mood is not want I want. I want spiritual connection. I want someone to talk to.
However, if I can find spiritual connection with another guy, I would be willing to hug, kiss, get naked and even trade massages but that spiritual connection comes first. So to protect and promote that spiritual connection, I don't appreciate it when that moodtries to spoil the spiritual connection. It's not homophobia. I'll even hug and get naked with gay men. Just quit trying to create that moodwith me. I really do think the biggest reason why there is so much homophobia lately is because we can't get naked with the guys anymore without someone trying to create that mood.
I agree with you that there should be a lot of talking between friends, how else can you both get to know each other ? I've never been able to go to church growing up because I was born with a disabilityand get around in a wheelchair. The buildings then were not accessible to me, so I'm not sure I understand the spiritually connection thing. I have gone to church with my sisters from time to time in the past 15 or 20 yrs. I've only had one experiencewith physical affection. I with a long time friend. We use to lean back on each other while watching TV. I've also enjoyed mutual massage. I don't mind physical affection, as long as I have known the person for a while. I can't believe someone told you to shut up your spoiling the mood. I would have sent him out the door at that point. LOL !!
Male bonding to me is when two guys have
gained a level of relaxation and trust with each other that they can be open to
their emotional side of their personality. That means being able to talk
intimately about anything or everything. It means that being together is
important. Sittingtogether watching a movie, or playing or listening to music, or playing an indoor
game (playstation, Xbox, board games etc), or a more physical outdoor game, or sitting
having a chat over a beer or wine or meal, or cuddling and hugging are all
significant male bonding activities.
Giving and receiving a massage is a deeply physical and emotional bond
and can be sensual if the guys are so inclined.
Nude male bonding is a significantly
deeper emotional and spiritual experience, as both guys are hiding neither
their bodies nor their inner thoughts from each other. It is deeper than a normal friendship.
So Talking is the key.
Physical attraction, and a sexual
component can be simply lust and have no bonding component whatsoever. Yes, sex it can be a significant component to
the bonding in many cases, but most cases it is seeking physical release, not
real male bonding which will last.
In some of these cases am I discussing
love. Love of a friend and the ensuing
friendship that will last.
Just my 10 cents worth
Hi Shore, I love your response !! I never experienced physical attraction for a friend. What attracts me is finding out who are inside. I'm Bi and wouldn't consider anything sexual, unless I really know you. (Hugging or holding each other, a little kiss every once in a while when mutually wanted and mutual massage). I'd still watch what I post with my activities to this group.
I really do not think there could every be a solid definition of what Male Bonding is...since things with gender are socially constructed and then add in the orientation to that mix and then all the social baggage that comes with that. I think men have a challenging time bonding, and they find different ways to do it. I think I am encouraged at how each generation of men do seem to change, as queer culture is accepted more in the mainstream, str8 men feel less threatened with male intimacy. In so many ways, I think allowing people to just be without worry of judgement or social constraints would make everyone happy. It was always hard for me to bond with men when I was growing up, now i am mostly surrounded by men, but still see there are walls, there are fears, there are insecurities.
I think when we can just be, whatever that may be, we could all just bond, men 2 men or men 2 women. We are all human, men are not some sort of unique people on the earth...I think we have been taught to think we are more different but I think that is cultural more than anything else.
Ways that I like to bond with men is through good social intercourse, discussion, hanging nude on the beach or a pool party, hiking naked in the woods, laughing and horsing around.
Quite something to think about it. After two serious relationships with members of the opposite sex, which have failed in my life, I'm quite happy to bond with male nudists and there are no intentions for any sexual actions, and yes I'm gay, which shouldn't mean anything, cause I don't need to engage sexually. I simply like to be out there bare, wander and chat along, having a good laugh, enjoying nature with fellow nudists. If touch and hugs are to occur, well I'm not shrugging back, because this is an important part of bonding as well. I know, when we have bonded, we will see each other again, and again, as we have got to know one another, simply just by enjoying each others company, staying in touch continuously and looking forward to next upcoming meetings.
It's really difficult to put into words, but male bonding to me means communication and shared experiences. Any kind of bonding begins with that. But male bonding is taken to a whole other level when the clothes come off and that last wall is torn down. For example, a hike is just a hike. But a nude hike with a buddy is so much more...intimate. Not in a sexual way, but in a way that conveys a level of comfort with a person. That you have nothing to hide from each other, not even your naked bodies. Same with a trip to a nude beach, or swimming in a pool realizing that swimsuits are neither needed nor expected. Even something simple as showering together at a golf club or after a gym workout can be very bonding. Possibly that's because it's something men can do together that men and women can not. There are no mixed showers in those type of places. But also because I think women are raised and socialized differently. For instance, get a group of boys together around a swimming hole in the woods somewhere, there likely will be some naked group swimming going on. With a group of girls, not so much. Men just have a different relationship and comfort level with nudity I think. And I believe always have (ancient Greece Olympics comes to mind). So in a way, I think when men strip down together, we are getting back to our roots..our common core if you will. Something within us all, but that some bury and try to shut out. Our clothes are just that, a coverup to what we really are.
I respectfully disagree but gender has everything to do with male bonding. Male is a gender and how that is defined socially, culturally, individually plays a part in the male bonding experience and expression. So gender actually has everything to do with male bonding.
I respectfully disagree but gender has everything to do with male bonding. Male is a gender and how that is defined socially, culturally, individually plays a part in the male bonding experience and expression. So gender actually has everything to do with male bonding.
Inow understand where your coming from and can agree withit. I never even thought about it that way before. When I said gender has nothing to do with this group, I meant I was just referring to male to male friendship and not women in the mix. Your response gave me something to think about. Thank you !!
Several good comments so far. I think male bonding takes time and communication. Both of which are rare that I have. It is investing in each other not on a financial level. Time is valuable. Whether textile or nude should include just hanging out and talking about life. There should be specific times of being nude together knowing that there will be no sex but there should be physical touch. It does not have to include touching of reproductive organs but could. We should not associate nakedness with sex. Nakedness should be openness to say I'm not hiding anything and am willing to share my life thoughts with you.
Hi Newlypoz,I agree, Male bonding does take time and communicationSounds likeyou work a lot and don't really have time for socializing. I hope that isn't true on the weekends. I do agree time is valuable in the sense of experiencing and enjoying life. I know it might be hard for ya, but you have to try and work in some hang out time with friends. I think life would be more enjoyable having friends, boyfriends & girlfriendsto enjoy it with. Your right !! nudism or naked should not be related to sex. The textile world already thinks that about nudists. Thanks for your comments !! : )