Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Reach Out!
Return to DiscussionsRead this article and remember your friends. This is a perfect example of what's happening in the United States and why Males are a dying breed. If you have close guy friends, reach out to them. If you don't find them and hold on to them. Let them mature naturally and without shame or guilt about whatever other people might say. It could literally save your life or your friend's life.
https://medium.com/@remakingmanhood/why-do-we-murder-the-beautiful-friendships-of-boys-3ad722942755
This article illustrates why we need the mens movement or at least a critical mass of men willing to be men around one another. The US gay movement has done wonders to expand the definition of masculinity, but for men who aren't in a stable and nurturing relationship (straight or gay) the reality of straight wedded bliss vs. a gay lifestyle leaves many feeling like they've fallen through the cracks. As men we can seek 5% solutions to our loneliness - 20 groups, affiliations and single relationships to fill in the gaps, but this is all very countercultural. We need our balls out to be happy!
Thanks for posting that. It's a good read and contains links to more related material. As a child my parents didn't allow me to have much or any male friends and certainly not enough to have a relationship of any sort. Even after being married for a long time, it's only in recent years that I have some good guys to hang out with and do things with and to talk to. To think that I missed that for 40+ years makes me angry. Even now my wife has a similar attitude as my parents did but I'm hoping that will change as it has softened some already as I have found real friends. It's a real problem in my part of the US. I think it mostly revolves around homophobia.
Therianthot, I'm glad I found this article too. Serendipity placed it in my path and at just the right time. Over the past week, I was rejected from job after job and overall the feeling of loneliness and isolation were becoming overwhelming. It didn't get to the point where I was contemplating suicide, but it certainly was to the point where I began to understand a little bit about how my perception of my reality could lead me to believe that there was no way out. However, I reached out to a couple of my closest friends and they helped me through it, even from thousands of miles away. It didn't fix everything, but it at least let me know that there are those out there that do care and that I can connect with.
I'm definitely going to go buy this book and read it. It has only been in the past year that I have actually connected with another Male on the visceral, animal level that is a true bond, regardless of anything sexual. I will be forever grateful to that person and hope to find others with whom I can connect as well. We are social creatures and live much richer lives if we have those types of connections with others.
The book Remaking Manhood is linked at the end of the article but here is the link to Amazon. It's $9. Seriously. Just get it. Or find it at your local library. Those do still exist.