Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Straight men who have sex with men
Return to DiscussionsHey brothers!
First, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had great holidays, whatever you celebrate, and wish you all nothing but the very best for 2017, including great health, happiness, prosperity and plenty of naked time and male friends!!!
A guy I know from my gym and I were chatting and he sent me this article that I thought was very interesting, thought-provoking and that brought up a few issues that I could related to. Check it out:
https://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/12/why-straight-rural-men-have-gay-bud-sex-with-each-other.html
As I read it, I thought of many conversations I've seen in this group as well as some I've had with some of you individually.
Stay naked and find a new male friend this year!!!
Scott
Moderator
I seem to be unable to connect to the server to read the article. Anyone else experience that problem. Was looking forward to reading it too.
Edited:
Got it now, googled for the article and got there that way,
thanks for the heads up
I wrestled with some of these issues when I was coming to terms with who I am and coming out. "Gay" comes with a great deal of negative baggage attached to it. I was not effeminate and didn't display any of the other "meanings" that came with the label "gay". And as AZnude points out, "bisexual" has an entirely other level of misunderstanding and judgement as well. I understand how men don't want to take on the baggage and negative power that comes with the labels, even if they do enjoy male to male intimacy.
As a ndiat I,m ok being nude in mixed company a few time a group of guys come over we just hang out naked Then I had sex with a guy I,m not gay but it felt right only once might happen again but not looking but if it happens
Yes, a very interesting article. In my mind and past experiences, sexual preference is like a sliding scale.
1 being very straight with no curiosity or attraction towards ones own sex. 10 being born knowing and attracted to the same sex, as in male to male, and no attraction to the opposite sex. I believe a large number of men fall somewhere between the 1 and 10. I would be interested in getting feed back on how others would place, (number) themselves on that scale. This is the problem with labeling, it limits the diversity that we all have.
Particularly awesome article with a lot of member interest. I agree with everyone. Labels suck. A man can have full-on anal sex with a close guy friend and not be bi or gay or anything other than straight. My final assessment of such situations comes down to PREFERENCE. A "straight" man prefers a woman to get off. A "gay" man prefers a man to get off. As a preference, like I prefer catsup on my eggs, but will eat them without. So, I won't go without, much like the man won't go without when he is with a like-minded man and want's to cum. Perhaps they would prefer their wife or girl friend to suck them off, for example. But in the end, they are in the moment, in the need, and trustworthy. So, these things happen, it's human nature, and many people spend a whole lot of time trying to attach a label or to sort it in to a behavior, when at the heart of it it simply boils down to preference. As you can see from my profile, and feel free to friend me, I am bi. Yes, it's true. I love sex with men and women. I love all aspects of sex with a man and all aspects with a woman. So the person who wrote about people like me who are half satisfied is generally correct. But, like I said, I have made it clear my preference is a man, since I'm about to marry one, but still love the affection and touch of a woman. I'm not frustrated, I'm happy. Just like my eggs, not every day with catsup. See ya nude...
I found the article very interesting, and it and the responses on this forum/group have been helpful. It reminds me of a formerly married gay man I was having sex with regularly twenty-five years ago, who said, "Sex between friends just happens." So it seems clear to me that it's not matter of identifying one's self based on a set of events, but of learning to be comfortable with the person with whom one has shared the event, and being comfortable with one's self as one lives with the memory of intimacy.
Thanks, Scott, for showing us the article; and thanks to all for the honesty of your responses.
NB
I lived in a rural situation for 16 years and being gay and liking of course, male 2 male sex, and being nude, I used to go down by the river after work and on weekends. Around 4pm each afternoon the straight guys (nudists) left and I was left alone. Around 4:30pm a guy (straight he said, his wife no longer giving him sexual gratification) wondered if he could have sex with me, I duly accommodated him. Just for the record, I am a bottom. I did ask him was he bi and his retorted no, straight as I can be, but as I argued with him as he finished with me that he is having sex with a man he still retorted no, I'm straight.
This went on for a while and it multiplied, I ended up having around 9 guys all told who weren't getting it at home using me to get their gratification sexually. I to this day, don't know how they all knew of me being down there by the river on those times of day and when, but the only answer I can get is that one guy told another and so on. So yes to your question, male to male sex from straight males in rural areas does exist. I had a word with another guy I was friends with (platonic) who lived in the next town 60 kms away about this, and he said he knows of a few guys who get it off down at the river near his location and he knows they are all married guys.
Cheers
Stuart