Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Sudden Disappearance of Friends??
Return to DiscussionsDo you find that many friends you make online suddenly just stop communicating with you?
I don't know if it's just me (and I'm very open to that possibility), but I decided to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this. It's happening more and more to me, and I'm getting a complex. I'd like your take on whether it's me or it's the nature of making online friends or I'm too much a needy friend or what.
BILL1: Most recently I was introduced to Bill1 (names and details are changed because they're all here on TN except as noted) through another acquaintance (Tom) who I met up with at a local Korean Spa. Bill1 was supposed to meet us, but he wasn't feeling well that day, so I reached out to him afterward. Bill1 and I began messaging here on TN, then on Skype, then via phone and text message. We talked about his kids, his growing business, our mutual enjoyment of being naked, and other general shared interests. He lives about 5 hours away but often comes here. We began to talk about how much each of us wanted to meet the other, visit the Korean Spa, and hang out nude. We usually chatted via text message at least once a day.
He mentioned he would be in town in 3 weeks with his kids, and we set a day and time to meet up. All seemed well as we continued to talk until about 3 days before we were to meet. I confirmed the afternoon time of our meeting, and Bill1 didn't respond. I just figured he was busy with work and planning his trip, but the next day when I said hey, I reconfirmed our plans to meet (because I had it on my calendar and had business dealings vying for that time).
With no explanation or apology, Bill1 just responded with, "I'm too busy to meet." This after he almost daily said things like, "I really wanna hang out with you," and "Can't wait to sit and chat with you in person." I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. What happened???
BILL2: Bill2 (yeah, just happened to have the same name as Bill1) on the other hand reached out to me in a Facebook message. He had seen my picture there as "someone you may know." We had talked about 8 or 10 years prior back when Yahoo groups were all the rage. We both enjoyed nudism, similar religious involvement, and seemed to connect well, but for some reason, we never met. Bill2 and I now started texting again, catching up, and discovered we had more in common than we knew before. We connected on TN and bemoaned that we still had never met face to face (he lives about 2 hrs from me). He said a close friend of his lives in my same city and he's here "all the time." He said he really wanted to meet.
When his health and schedule kept him from coming down here, I planned to drive up there one Saturday. When I said I was open to visiting (the night before), he said he had "just made plans for the day." A few weeks later (talking almost daily the whole time), I was going to be passing near his place, but he had another reason I couldn't visit. Then when outside forces prevented my access to a place where he was staying, he seemed to just blow it off with, "oh. sure sorry!"
About a week later, Bill2 responded to a text from me with a selfie of him kayaking on a lake. I inquired about his trip, but I got nothing back. I haven't heard from Bill2 since around the time Bill1 blew me off. What the fuck?????
OTHERS: Joe and I were part of a men's group where some nasty drama occurred. He has since told me that he doesn't want to interact with me because I remind him of all the shit that went down in that group (even though I was one of about 3 guys who had his back the whole time and he's now here on TN posting about having no friends). I met Jason here on TN and started Skyping and texting. Even though he lives about 3 hours away, we met one Saturday halfway between us at a fair. Great interaction, easy to talk to, planned to meet again. I even helped him with his business. Then one day after I hadn't heard from him, he emails me to say how offended he was when I ribbed him about his weight. I thought I was horsing around giving him shit like guys do with friends. I had no idea he really struggled with weight. He wouldn't accept my apology and just stopped talking to me. Years ago I used to talk with Alex (don't know if he's here on TN, but I imagine he is). He was in another state, and he was really clever with a great sense of humor. Also a nudist, he showed me how to create animated gifs. One day I happened to joke that he was hairy as a gorilla. Silence. After a couple minutes he signed off. A few years later I ran across him on another site and reached out to him. He wouldn't even acknowledge me.
So, what?? Am I insensitive and rude? Am I just making friends with overly sensitive guys? Is the Internet just a poor place to make friends? Are nudists flakes by nature? I'd love to hear from Bill1, Bill2, Joe, Jason, or Alex (not their names, but they will know who they are if they read this). I'd love your input, experience, and feedback.
I consider online relationships across the board to be notoriously flakey. On the internet no one knows you're a dog. That is one reason I try to make local friends and also write from the heart with non-locals. I also have very low expectations in return and consider everything a gift in return.
I consider online relationships across the board to be notoriously flakey. On the internet no one knows you're a dog. That is one reason I try to make local friends and also write from the heart with non-locals. I also have very low expectations in return and consider everything a gift in return.
When I re-upped with TN as a lifetime member I was sure I would start meeting real in-the-flesh nudists to socialize with. Because in almost every profile I read that the person wants to meet people to socialize with. I am people, a reasonable guy with varied interests. I have met some new in-the-flesh nudist buddies over the past two years but none were obtained thru TN. I pretty much gave up reaching out based on frustration with the same experiences everyone else is reporting.
TN is where I might learn about places to check out and I sometimes find peoples' stories really entertaining.
I get the disappointment others have expressed. I adjusted my expectations and have a better time here now.
I started this thread with the original complaint about "friends" disappearing on me. I focused on two examples of Bill1 and Bill2 (both had the same name; not Bill). I thought I'd follow up 6 months later and tell you briefly what's happened.
About a month after I made the post, Bill1 saw what I had written. He quickly texted me and apologized saying that his business was taking a big part of his time and he simply hadn't focused on online acquaintances. He said he was truly sorry because I was a good guy, and he didn't want to lose contact. He's been more conscious about reaching out and keeping the conversations going, and I've been more accepting of lesser interaction. But we text and Skype and enjoy the friendship.
I never heard anything from Bill2. As the end of the year approached, I decided to drop him a site message here on TN saying that I was curious about what happened and why he stopped talking to me. You may recall from my original post, we had been texting and phoning nearly every day until June of 2015 (about 6 mos ago--today is 1/7/16). I had pinged him one day in June 2015, and he texted a selfie out on a lake. I asked who he was there with and never heard anything back.
So I sent that site message around New Year's Eve, and within about 12 hours, I received a response from him saying that hedidrespond to my text in June, over several days, until he thoughtIhad disappeared onhim. For some reason none of those messages came through to my phone. He said how disappointed he was but didn't want to pester me anymore, so he let go.
So we're back in touch, but it's definitely not the same. Just really unfortunate. I felt like I might be too clingy in following up, but I'm glad I did. At the very least, I'm not left wondering what happened. At most, maybe we can repair a long-distance friendship.
Do you find that many friends you make online suddenly just stop communicating with you?I don't know if it's just me (and I'm very open to that possibility), but I decided to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this. It's happening more and more to me, and I'm getting a complex. I'd like your take on whether it's me or it's the nature of making online friends or I'm too much a needy friend or what.BILL1: Most recently I was introduced to Bill1 (names and details are changed because they're all here on TN except as noted) through another acquaintance (Tom) who I met up with at a local Korean Spa. Bill1 was supposed to meet us, but he wasn't feeling well that day, so I reached out to him afterward. Bill1 and I began messaging here on TN, then on Skype, then via phone and text message. We talked about his kids, his growing business, our mutual enjoyment of being naked, and other general shared interests. He lives about 5 hours away but often comes here. We began to talk about how much each of us wanted to meet the other, visit the Korean Spa, and hang out nude. We usually chatted via text message at least once a day.He mentioned he would be in town in 3 weeks with his kids, and we set a day and time to meet up. All seemed well as we continued to talk until about 3 days before we were to meet. I confirmed the afternoon time of our meeting, and Bill1 didn't respond. I just figured he was busy with work and planning his trip, but the next day when I said hey, I reconfirmed our plans to meet (because I had it on my calendar and had business dealings vying for that time).With no explanation or apology, Bill1 just responded with, "I'm too busy to meet." This after he almost daily said things like, "I really wanna hang out with you," and "Can't wait to sit and chat with you in person." I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. What happened???BILL2: Bill2 (yeah, just happened to have the same name as Bill1) on the other hand reached out to me in a Facebook message. He had seen my picture there as "someone you may know." We had talked about 8 or 10 years prior back when Yahoo groups were all the rage. We both enjoyed nudism, similar religious involvement, and seemed to connect well, but for some reason, we never met. Bill2 and I now started texting again, catching up, and discovered we had more in common than we knew before. We connected on TN and bemoaned that we still had never met face to face (he lives about 2 hrs from me). He said a close friend of his lives in my same city and he's here "all the time." He said he really wanted to meet.When his health and schedule kept him from coming down here, I planned to drive up there one Saturday. When I said I was open to visiting (the night before), he said he had "just made plans for the day." A few weeks later (talking almost daily the whole time), I was going to be passing near his place, but he had another reason I couldn't visit. Then when outside forces prevented my access to a place where he was staying, he seemed to just blow it off with, "oh. sure sorry!"About a week later, Bill2 responded to a text from me with a selfie of him kayaking on a lake. I inquired about his trip, but I got nothing back. I haven't heard from Bill2 since around the time Bill1 blew me off. What the fuck?????OTHERS: Joe and I were part of a men's group where some nasty drama occurred. He has since told me that he doesn't want to interact with me because I remind him of all the shit that went down in that group (even though I was one of about 3 guys who had his back the whole time and he's now here on TN posting about having no friends). I met Jason here on TN and started Skyping and texting. Even though he lives about 3 hours away, we met one Saturday halfway between us at a fair. Great interaction, easy to talk to, planned to meet again. I even helped him with his business. Then one day after I hadn't heard from him, he emails me to say how offended he was when I ribbed him about his weight. I thought I was horsing around giving him shit like guys do with friends. I had no idea he really struggled with weight. He wouldn't accept my apology and just stopped talking to me. Years ago I used to talk with Alex (don't know if he's here on TN, but I imagine he is). He was in another state, and he was really clever with a great sense of humor. Also a nudist, he showed me how to create animated gifs. One day I happened to joke that he was hairy as a gorilla. Silence. After a couple minutes he signed off. A few years later I ran across him on another site and reached out to him. He wouldn't even acknowledge me.So, what?? Am I insensitive and rude? Am I just making friends with overly sensitive guys? Is the Internet just a poor place to make friends? Are nudists flakes by nature? I'd love to hear from Bill1, Bill2, Joe, Jason, or Alex (not their names, but they will know who they are if they read this). I'd love your input, experience, and feedback.
Sounds like you have the same affliction that I have, 'Foot in mouth' syndrome. I have scared more women off, in the past year, than I could imagine. My loss for being stupid, I guess. I keep telling myself that I should be more cautious, more reserved. But then I say, "Hell no, I am who I am and that's the way it is', so what if I have to look harder??? With my first wife, we both tried to change, in order to be the person, the other wanted. With my 2nd, I went overboard, did everything for her. In the end, discovered that she disrespected me for that and subsequently used me, because of it. Until I got tired of her attitude and kicked her out. Now she says that she still cares; well Bull Shit, she's done. I don't know what the answer is, if the next one doesn't work out, I'm SOL; Single for Life.
Do you find that many friends you make online suddenly just stop communicating with you?I don't know if it's just me (and I'm very open to that possibility), but I decided to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this. It's happening more and more to me, and I'm getting a complex. I'd like your take on whether it's me or it's the nature of making online friends or I'm too much a needy friend or what.BILL1: Most recently I was introduced to Bill1 (names and details are changed because they're all here on TN except as noted) through another acquaintance (Tom) who I met up with at a local Korean Spa. Bill1 was supposed to meet us, but he wasn't feeling well that day, so I reached out to him afterward. Bill1 and I began messaging here on TN, then on Skype, then via phone and text message. We talked about his kids, his growing business, our mutual enjoyment of being naked, and other general shared interests. He lives about 5 hours away but often comes here. We began to talk about how much each of us wanted to meet the other, visit the Korean Spa, and hang out nude. We usually chatted via text message at least once a day.He mentioned he would be in town in 3 weeks with his kids, and we set a day and time to meet up. All seemed well as we continued to talk until about 3 days before we were to meet. I confirmed the afternoon time of our meeting, and Bill1 didn't respond. I just figured he was busy with work and planning his trip, but the next day when I said hey, I reconfirmed our plans to meet (because I had it on my calendar and had business dealings vying for that time).With no explanation or apology, Bill1 just responded with, "I'm too busy to meet." This after he almost daily said things like, "I really wanna hang out with you," and "Can't wait to sit and chat with you in person." I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. What happened???BILL2: Bill2 (yeah, just happened to have the same name as Bill1) on the other hand reached out to me in a Facebook message. He had seen my picture there as "someone you may know." We had talked about 8 or 10 years prior back when Yahoo groups were all the rage. We both enjoyed nudism, similar religious involvement, and seemed to connect well, but for some reason, we never met. Bill2 and I now started texting again, catching up, and discovered we had more in common than we knew before. We connected on TN and bemoaned that we still had never met face to face (he lives about 2 hrs from me). He said a close friend of his lives in my same city and he's here "all the time." He said he really wanted to meet.When his health and schedule kept him from coming down here, I planned to drive up there one Saturday. When I said I was open to visiting (the night before), he said he had "just made plans for the day." A few weeks later (talking almost daily the whole time), I was going to be passing near his place, but he had another reason I couldn't visit. Then when outside forces prevented my access to a place where he was staying, he seemed to just blow it off with, "oh. sure sorry!"About a week later, Bill2 responded to a text from me with a selfie of him kayaking on a lake. I inquired about his trip, but I got nothing back. I haven't heard from Bill2 since around the time Bill1 blew me off. What the fuck?????OTHERS: Joe and I were part of a men's group where some nasty drama occurred. He has since told me that he doesn't want to interact with me because I remind him of all the shit that went down in that group (even though I was one of about 3 guys who had his back the whole time and he's now here on TN posting about having no friends). I met Jason here on TN and started Skyping and texting. Even though he lives about 3 hours away, we met one Saturday halfway between us at a fair. Great interaction, easy to talk to, planned to meet again. I even helped him with his business. Then one day after I hadn't heard from him, he emails me to say how offended he was when I ribbed him about his weight. I thought I was horsing around giving him shit like guys do with friends. I had no idea he really struggled with weight. He wouldn't accept my apology and just stopped talking to me. Years ago I used to talk with Alex (don't know if he's here on TN, but I imagine he is). He was in another state, and he was really clever with a great sense of humor. Also a nudist, he showed me how to create animated gifs. One day I happened to joke that he was hairy as a gorilla. Silence. After a couple minutes he signed off. A few years later I ran across him on another site and reached out to him. He wouldn't even acknowledge me.So, what?? Am I insensitive and rude? Am I just making friends with overly sensitive guys? Is the Internet just a poor place to make friends? Are nudists flakes by nature? I'd love to hear from Bill1, Bill2, Joe, Jason, or Alex (not their names, but they will know who they are if they read this). I'd love your input, experience, and feedback.
Do you find that many friends you make online suddenly just stop communicating with you?I don't know if it's just me (and I'm very open to that possibility), but I decided to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this. It's happening more and more to me, and I'm getting a complex. I'd like your take on whether it's me or it's the nature of making online friends or I'm too much a needy friend or what.BILL1: Most recently I was introduced to Bill1 (names and details are changed because they're all here on TN except as noted) through another acquaintance (Tom) who I met up with at a local Korean Spa. Bill1 was supposed to meet us, but he wasn't feeling well that day, so I reached out to him afterward. Bill1 and I began messaging here on TN, then on Skype, then via phone and text message. We talked about his kids, his growing business, our mutual enjoyment of being naked, and other general shared interests. He lives about 5 hours away but often comes here. We began to talk about how much each of us wanted to meet the other, visit the Korean Spa, and hang out nude. We usually chatted via text message at least once a day.He mentioned he would be in town in 3 weeks with his kids, and we set a day and time to meet up. All seemed well as we continued to talk until about 3 days before we were to meet. I confirmed the afternoon time of our meeting, and Bill1 didn't respond. I just figured he was busy with work and planning his trip, but the next day when I said hey, I reconfirmed our plans to meet (because I had it on my calendar and had business dealings vying for that time).With no explanation or apology, Bill1 just responded with, "I'm too busy to meet." This after he almost daily said things like, "I really wanna hang out with you," and "Can't wait to sit and chat with you in person." I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. What happened???BILL2: Bill2 (yeah, just happened to have the same name as Bill1) on the other hand reached out to me in a Facebook message. He had seen my picture there as "someone you may know." We had talked about 8 or 10 years prior back when Yahoo groups were all the rage. We both enjoyed nudism, similar religious involvement, and seemed to connect well, but for some reason, we never met. Bill2 and I now started texting again, catching up, and discovered we had more in common than we knew before. We connected on TN and bemoaned that we still had never met face to face (he lives about 2 hrs from me). He said a close friend of his lives in my same city and he's here "all the time." He said he really wanted to meet.When his health and schedule kept him from coming down here, I planned to drive up there one Saturday. When I said I was open to visiting (the night before), he said he had "just made plans for the day." A few weeks later (talking almost daily the whole time), I was going to be passing near his place, but he had another reason I couldn't visit. Then when outside forces prevented my access to a place where he was staying, he seemed to just blow it off with, "oh. sure sorry!"About a week later, Bill2 responded to a text from me with a selfie of him kayaking on a lake. I inquired about his trip, but I got nothing back. I haven't heard from Bill2 since around the time Bill1 blew me off. What the fuck?????OTHERS: Joe and I were part of a men's group where some nasty drama occurred. He has since told me that he doesn't want to interact with me because I remind him of all the shit that went down in that group (even though I was one of about 3 guys who had his back the whole time and he's now here on TN posting about having no friends). I met Jason here on TN and started Skyping and texting. Even though he lives about 3 hours away, we met one Saturday halfway between us at a fair. Great interaction, easy to talk to, planned to meet again. I even helped him with his business. Then one day after I hadn't heard from him, he emails me to say how offended he was when I ribbed him about his weight. I thought I was horsing around giving him shit like guys do with friends. I had no idea he really struggled with weight. He wouldn't accept my apology and just stopped talking to me. Years ago I used to talk with Alex (don't know if he's here on TN, but I imagine he is). He was in another state, and he was really clever with a great sense of humor. Also a nudist, he showed me how to create animated gifs. One day I happened to joke that he was hairy as a gorilla. Silence. After a couple minutes he signed off. A few years later I ran across him on another site and reached out to him. He wouldn't even acknowledge me.So, what?? Am I insensitive and rude? Am I just making friends with overly sensitive guys? Is the Internet just a poor place to make friends? Are nudists flakes by nature? I'd love to hear from Bill1, Bill2, Joe, Jason, or Alex (not their names, but they will know who they are if they read this). I'd love your input, experience, and feedback.
I don't understand why this happens like many that have already commented on this its happened to me a few times, it could be that I am to open, or its that when people find out I am not looking from and guy on guy action and that I am happily married they just stop chatting, well any way I think its their loss and not mine
Do you find that many friends you make online suddenly just stop communicating with you?I don't know if it's just me (and I'm very open to that possibility), but I decided to post this to see if anyone else has experienced this. It's happening more and more to me, and I'm getting a complex. I'd like your take on whether it's me or it's the nature of making online friends or I'm too much a needy friend or what.BILL1: Most recently I was introduced to Bill1 (names and details are changed because they're all here on TN except as noted) through another acquaintance (Tom) who I met up with at a local Korean Spa. Bill1 was supposed to meet us, but he wasn't feeling well that day, so I reached out to him afterward. Bill1 and I began messaging here on TN, then on Skype, then via phone and text message. We talked about his kids, his growing business, our mutual enjoyment of being naked, and other general shared interests. He lives about 5 hours away but often comes here. We began to talk about how much each of us wanted to meet the other, visit the Korean Spa, and hang out nude. We usually chatted via text message at least once a day.He mentioned he would be in town in 3 weeks with his kids, and we set a day and time to meet up. All seemed well as we continued to talk until about 3 days before we were to meet. I confirmed the afternoon time of our meeting, and Bill1 didn't respond. I just figured he was busy with work and planning his trip, but the next day when I said hey, I reconfirmed our plans to meet (because I had it on my calendar and had business dealings vying for that time).With no explanation or apology, Bill1 just responded with, "I'm too busy to meet." This after he almost daily said things like, "I really wanna hang out with you," and "Can't wait to sit and chat with you in person." I haven't heard from him in about 2 months. What happened???BILL2: Bill2 (yeah, just happened to have the same name as Bill1) on the other hand reached out to me in a Facebook message. He had seen my picture there as "someone you may know." We had talked about 8 or 10 years prior back when Yahoo groups were all the rage. We both enjoyed nudism, similar religious involvement, and seemed to connect well, but for some reason, we never met. Bill2 and I now started texting again, catching up, and discovered we had more in common than we knew before. We connected on TN and bemoaned that we still had never met face to face (he lives about 2 hrs from me). He said a close friend of his lives in my same city and he's here "all the time." He said he really wanted to meet.When his health and schedule kept him from coming down here, I planned to drive up there one Saturday. When I said I was open to visiting (the night before), he said he had "just made plans for the day." A few weeks later (talking almost daily the whole time), I was going to be passing near his place, but he had another reason I couldn't visit. Then when outside forces prevented my access to a place where he was staying, he seemed to just blow it off with, "oh. sure sorry!"About a week later, Bill2 responded to a text from me with a selfie of him kayaking on a lake. I inquired about his trip, but I got nothing back. I haven't heard from Bill2 since around the time Bill1 blew me off. What the fuck?????OTHERS: Joe and I were part of a men's group where some nasty drama occurred. He has since told me that he doesn't want to interact with me because I remind him of all the shit that went down in that group (even though I was one of about 3 guys who had his back the whole time and he's now here on TN posting about having no friends). I met Jason here on TN and started Skyping and texting. Even though he lives about 3 hours away, we met one Saturday halfway between us at a fair. Great interaction, easy to talk to, planned to meet again. I even helped him with his business. Then one day after I hadn't heard from him, he emails me to say how offended he was when I ribbed him about his weight. I thought I was horsing around giving him shit like guys do with friends. I had no idea he really struggled with weight. He wouldn't accept my apology and just stopped talking to me. Years ago I used to talk with Alex (don't know if he's here on TN, but I imagine he is). He was in another state, and he was really clever with a great sense of humor. Also a nudist, he showed me how to create animated gifs. One day I happened to joke that he was hairy as a gorilla. Silence. After a couple minutes he signed off. A few years later I ran across him on another site and reached out to him. He wouldn't even acknowledge me.So, what?? Am I insensitive and rude? Am I just making friends with overly sensitive guys? Is the Internet just a poor place to make friends? Are nudists flakes by nature? I'd love to hear from Bill1, Bill2, Joe, Jason, or Alex (not their names, but they will know who they are if they read this). I'd love your input, experience, and feedback.