Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Can You Have Sex With a Straight Buddy, and still be Straight yourself?
Return to DiscussionsHey Guys,
So i'm surfing a cam site called chaturbate. Which i find fun to watch amateurcouples going at it. Somehow i bumped into these two straight buddies.I decided to watch a little and from the conversations being had along withtheir info sheet. So basically they're story is, there's these two best friends, who have been loggersin canada for the years. They god laid off a few months ago and we're having a hardtime making ends meet. One of the guys moved into to his married buddy's house,and is renting their guest room. So this is where it gets good: Somehow the buddy that moved in, found outabout how to make some extra cash through doing shows on cam with his buddy.They started out with just mutual masturbation but started making more and moremoney and so basically they go all the way now. ( .. and i mean *all* the way,saw it for myself last night)
The wife of one of the guy's knows everything is in complete support. The other buddy'sgirlfriend knows too and also has no problem with it. i identify as straight but even i foundmyself somewhat aroused by how close they were bonding. I mean they body language was definitelyof just buddies hanging out and bonding, but when they start kissing... it didn't look forced or romanticbut rather it looked like two close buddies sharing themselves with each other. One of the people there asked the receiver guy how he still consider himself straight afterhe just had a penis inside him. He explained that he enjoys the feeling of a dildo and hasbeen using one for years, so for him its just about sensation, he is not sexually turned on by his buddy.However, since his wife had been pregnant he wasn't getting any sex so they figured out they couldmake money while both "helped" each other out
The reason i want to share this with you guys, is even though i know what i think about this, i wanted toget your thoughts about the two straight buddies who have sex with each other but still identify as straight.( not about the topic itself )
Is it possible to be heterosexual and have a sexual relationship with a close friend of the same gender? Or Gayand have a sexual relationship with someone from the opposing gender.? Do you believe its more about themale bonding emotional connection these two share? or is it just about the money?
What do you guys think?
Hey Guys, So i'm surfing a cam site called chaturbate. Which i find fun to watch amateurcouples going at it. Somehow i bumped into these two straight buddies.I decided to watch a little and from the conversations being had along withtheir info sheet. So basically they're story is, there's these two best friends, who have been loggersin canada for the years. They god laid off a few months ago and we're having a hardtime making ends meet. One of the guys moved into to his married buddy's house,and is renting their guest room. So this is where it gets good: Somehow the buddy that moved in, found outabout how to make some extra cash through doing shows on cam with his buddy.They started out with just mutual masturbation but started making more and moremoney and so basically they go all the way now. ( .. and i mean *all* the way,saw it for myself last night) The wife of one of the guy's knows everything is in complete support. The other buddy'sgirlfriend knows too and also has no problem with it. i identify as straight but even i foundmyself somewhat aroused by how close they were bonding. I mean they body language was definitelyof just buddies hanging out and bonding, but when they start kissing... it didn't look forced or romanticbut rather it looked like two close buddies sharing themselves with each other. One of the people there asked the receiver guy how he still consider himself straight afterhe just had a penis inside him. He explained that he enjoys the feeling of a dildo and hasbeen using one for years, so for him its just about sensation, he is not sexually turned on by his buddy.However, since his wife had been pregnant he wasn't getting any sex so they figured out they couldmake money while both "helped" each other out The reason i want to share this with you guys, is even though i know what i think about this, i wanted toget your thoughts about the two straight buddies who have sex with each other but still identify as straight.( not about the topic itself ) Is it possible to be heterosexual and have a sexual relationship with a close friend of the same gender? Or Gayand have a sexual relationship with someone from the opposing gender.? Do you believe its more about themale bonding emotional connection these two share? or is it just about the money? What do you guys think?
I think OF COURSE they can. I'm gay. Really gay. In the unlikely (but possible, because anything's possible unless you're totally closed off to it) event that I were to have sex with a woman tonight, I would still wake-up tomorrow and identify as gay. And that's not because I'm shying away from the bisexual label, it's because being gay is more complex and involves more components of my identity than just who I have sex with. So if that's true for me, it seems the corollary must be true for straight men as well. We can identify as something (or refuse to identify as anything) and I don't think our identity needs to be re-branded by specific set of interactions that are outside of what was typical/expected for the label.
Sounds very interesting. These guys have engaged inhaving sex together, while their female partners are aware of it.They do enjoy it and they do like showing off for profit. I don'tthink we might call this affair straight. In this case it isbi-sexual relationships and good luck to anyone having fun likethese guys do.
I thinks it's both and male bonding really should not have to be
labeled in any way period!!!
well said naked caper!!!i agree 1000%
Being gay is a lot more then just sex and kissing. Ask any gay man.
Thank you, Ace Nudist, for that statement.
In my opinion, being straight or bi or gay is much more than just 'the gender with which you enjoy sexual activity'. To me, being straight or bi or gay is about 'the gender with which you could fall in love with and have a relationship with'. That is my way of thinking. Just because two persons engage in a bonding or an intimate experience does not suddenly change the way they feel about love and who and how they can love. It is just an intimate experience shared by two people.
So, to answer the question posed in this thread, I would say, "yes".
Is it possible to be heterosexual and have a sexual relationship with a close friend of the same gender? Or Gayand have a sexual relationship with someone from the opposing gender.? Do you believe its more about themale bonding emotional connection these two share? or is it just about the money? What do you guys think?
No it is not. This is called bisexuality.
Unfortunately most commenters have made this a gay/straight "one or the other" decision when it is not at all.
Within bisexuality there is 1) emotional attraction, and 2) physical attraction. You can have just emotional attraction to both sexes and be bisexual. You can have only physical attraction to both sexes and be bisexual. Then, of course, you can have both. Any and all of the above are bisexuality.
Sexuality is also on a spectrum.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
1 = No same sex attraction
10 = Only same sex attraction
5 = Equally attracted to both sexes
These men clearly have physical attraction for one another (if there
wasn't they wouldn't get hard, trust me they have physical attraction
for one another). It sounds like they are a 2 or 3 on the scale for physical attraction. They may or may not have emotional attraction to one another. Either way, sounds like they still have sex with their women so they ain't straight or gay!
It is perfectly fine that they are bisexual and should be celebrated. There are too many bisexuals out there trying to maintain their straight label for no reason.
Signed, a proud bisexual.
What do you guys think?
The older I get (and I'm only 48 last time I checked) the more I
think labels don't mean a goddamn thing.
That's not just because I'm getting older, it's because I keep
seeing more and more exceptions to the hard and fast "rules"
implied by these labels themselves.
So the guys are both in relationships with women. So they get it on with each
other. They identify as straight but they engage in behavior that's
not so straight. That doesn't mean they're not straight.
At the end of the day, who gives a shit? They're men. They can be
and do whatever the hell they want, provided they aren't breaking
any laws or hurting other people.
It sounds like they're doing neither of those things. I say more
power to them.
I wish more people thought and acted like they and their wives do.
The world would be a much better place, I think.
Well said!
To me, they are straight if they say they are. Period. End of story.
Who am I to label someone else? Why do I get to have that power over how someone defines their sexuality, which in our society, is a label that brings out lots of emotions. Are these guys any more gay than the "gay for pay" porn stars? Or the drunk frat boy who lets a buddy blow him once and hates it? Or the gay man who decides he wants to have sex with a woman just to affirm that he's not missing something?
Just my opinion...reasonable people may differ. (so may unreasonable ones!)
straight, gay, bi are just words..we associate meaning to them :)do they fit my definition of straight or your definition of straight.. how does it matter..?it is their life...let them do what they want with it
Ooooooooooookay.I am a homosexual. (6 on the Kinsey scale)I will use the following terms in my answer:homosexual- only forms sexual relationships with members of the same sex.bisexual- forms sexual relationships with both sexes.heterosexual- only forms sexual relationships with members of the other sex.
I work in gay bars in los angeles. Many men in this area of work consider themselves "straight," or, heterosexual. I believe they think that this is "correct." or how they "should be." It is "better" to identify as heterosexual.
The two men in this example are not heterosexual. they have formed a sexual relationship together and are of the same sex. I would argue that both of them are bisexual. And I'm sorry, but having homosexual sex on camera is NOT the only way to make money. It's an excuse, so that one can say, "but I just do it for money. I'm straight." No, they're not.
I have lost my patience for these kind of claims, because there is no logical reason to claim to be of any sexuality, really. but if one discloses their sexuality, why lie about it? I know. Some people are insecure with their identities. But I would challenge these people to stop lying to themselves as well as others.
I would also like to comment on the "labels" comments. Many of these comments seem to be arguing that one does not need to label themselves as "straight" or as "gay." That's true. The aforementioned Kinsey scale was devised to give a more complex way to describe sexuality. It ranges from numbers 0-6, 0 being completely heterosexual and 6 being completely homosexual. Again, I don't think people need to "label" themselves or disclose their sexuality in an everyday setting, but there is no harm in knowing what one likes and being honest, at least to themselves, about it. The idea of labeling anything is to be able to communicate it to each other. labels are not inherently "evil." They're descriptive.
No it is not. This is called bisexuality.Unfortunately most commenters have made this a gay/straight "one or the other" decision when it is not at all.Within bisexuality there is 1) emotional attraction, and 2) physical attraction. You can have just emotional attraction to both sexes and be bisexual. You can have only physical attraction to both sexes and be bisexual. Then, of course, you can have both. Any and all of the above are bisexuality.Sexuality is also on a spectrum. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 101 = No same sex attraction10 = Only same sex attraction5 = Equally attracted to both sexesThese men clearly have physical attraction for one another (if there wasn't they wouldn't get hard, trust me they have physical attraction for one another). It sounds like they are a 2 or 3 on the scale for physical attraction. They may or may not have emotional attraction to one another. Either way, sounds like they still have sex with their women so they ain't straight or gay!It is perfectly fine that they are bisexual and should be celebrated. There are too many bisexuals out there trying to maintain their straight label for no reason.Signed, a proud bisexual.
i respectfully disagree.One of the most common things i've heard is a lot of gay men have slept with a woman.
they do *not* call themselves bisexual they might have even enjoyed the situation but they know who they are,how come when it is a straight man who sleeps with another man he has to re label himself bisexual?its a double standard that i do not think is fair, which is probably why a lot of people hide it.
One of the reasons i wanted to bring you guys this topic is because
i'm really excited about the directionour uptight society is
taking. We're becoming more relaxed about sexuality and gender
attitudes.
Take a look at what was considered Straight in the 1930's:Men used
to think getting a BJ from a girl was perverted.
Then look at the
late 1960's. There was a brief period of hippie love-ins
where straight men and women would get into a dog pile and do it
with each other regardless of gender, but unfortunately by the 70's
we were repressed again. and straight meant that you may get
Bj's but you never did it doggy style. Circle jerks happened
but no one discussed it.
By the 1980's - doggy style was ok.. but nothing with the
ass
2000 it was becoming more common for guys to get fingered by their
girls
2010 - it was ok for men to explore their prostate with dildos,
a toyused just for women for many years.
In this day and age guys can hang out naked together jerk
offreally have some male bonding time, and there's no
question aboutsexuality.
Now
..............in my humble opinion............. they maybe
exploring Bisexual behavior,but if they've been with 1 guy each (
each other ) and have been with a lot of women and prefer women but
have reached the point where they are comfortable exploring same
sexsexuality, then i think we should give them the same benefit of
the doubt that gay men get when they say they're gay even tho they
slept with a women or two.
I'm really happy that in these days there is a ultimately a label
that means " i cannot be labeled"when someone calls themselves
Pansexual or Gender Fluid, it love it, i applaud it.. it
means we're awesome and amazing human beings we are so complex and
diverse and its about time we celebrate that!!
its like one member wrote (atldavis): who are we to label other
human beings? who gave us this power?isn't that a bit arrogant of
us? i accept you all as brothers regardless of gender
identity, or sexual orientation.