Male Bonding2
For those who like to explore the concept and dynamics of male bonding. Men are socialized in different ways in different societies, and so many men would like to have close male friendships, yet after spending time establishing a career, primary relationship and live in general, find themselves without close male friends. Many of us want male friends with whom we can share openly without...
- created by AZdesertman
Questions as I start massage school
Return to DiscussionsI've applied to massage school for later this year, and am studying up and trying to think things out. I hope to do volunteer work with the elderly, and some work in a barn/gazebo/studio space here on the farm. For the work here, I am prepared to say up front that this is a clothing-optional household, and that massage visitors may request conventional dress and draping, or not, as they like. But draping is really kind of obnoxious, and I'd rather develop a style that does without it - partly because clients who are comfortable without draping are more likely to be people I'd like to know, and partly because I think draping is truly a negative - reinforcing an unbalanced sense of the body as divided clean/dirty, legitimate/illicit, pure/sexual, which I would rather not opt into.
But that's a hard one, because the division is so built in to expectations and the language around massage. "Full body", "tantric", "sensual" are all going to be taken as code for masturbate-you-on-the-table, which of course unbalances the session. No other body part or function will be worked on with that same level of energy, and the post-orgasmic refractory period means that the address to sexual energies comes last, and draws focus away from the rest of the body throughout the session. "Legitimate" and "non-sexual" are taken as negatives, distancing the practitioner from some of the body's most important energies and raising the potential for disapproval if those energies are manifest in any way.
In my life as an amateur human being, I have often been able to manage that kind of contact - open to the whole body, but not turning on the race-to-the-finish switch. It think there's a talent there that I can use. One strategy that has occurred to me, if someone has begun to focus strongly on one chakra, is to take a break from muscle/lymphatic work and do a bit of chakra balancing, starting with the heart and working down (the root chakra goes to the toes), then back to the heart and working up - touching and honoring the whole body, and leading back to the spirit.
Anyway... does any of this make sense? Does the approach seem as if it might be valuable? Any suggestions about how to manage expectations around the approach?
Both are negative and positive for the objective they do not fulfill. The need for a massage that is non-sexual is completely different than holistic erotic touch. They both use techniques of mindfulness, presence, and attentiveness to relax the person being massaged, but the goal in the first is relaxation of the body as a physical thing that does work, with some spiritual overtones. The other is connecting with a person's sexual energy and using touch to replenish, validate, and release it (not orgasmic, but self acceptance). Since the latter is not entirely legal in professional contexts, it is not a simple thing to negotiate at all. The important thing is to never confuse one with the other. It is a violation of a person to deliver touch that is sexual in platonic context, even if the person arouses. Most of the few exclusive practitioners don't deal with non-sexual clients, although RMT's have this issue with clients very frequently. Nudism has really helped me to be very integral in how I interact with other men. I appreciate completely non sexual nudism more as it is a freedom from so many constraints. Being a good person in that setting is empowering and it helps men to mature as responsible adults. But I find that I am less drawn to non nudist men as their issues with the body makes intimate connections hard (of any kind).
As a FM sufferer for many years, I can tell you it most certainly IS real, and yes, it can be self-perpetuating, if one allows it.
I can also tell you that I get a massage every two weeks. If I miss one, I am much more symptomatic. Some studies have suggested a common denominator in many FM sufferers is decreased oxygen levels in muscle tissue, and possibly adjacent soft tissue. That could easily explain why my massages are so obviously beneficial.
If you'd like to talk about the subject sometime, let me know. I am very passionate about self-help for peopeople like me!
Yes, I would like to talk about it. I will probably never specialize in medically motivated massage, but the issues around fibromyalgia are really also central issues in all massage. It interesting to hear that decreased oxygen in the muscles is an issue - helps to explain the already-documented benefits of massage for people with the syndrome. It's certainly useful to work both from the skin in, and the mind out. (And practitioners on both sides need to keep out of one anothers' way - i'm taking the tone of a massage student in class, here, not that of a practicing massage therapist).
The actual quality of my touch is improving, and I'm reasonably comfortable that it will develop well. In class discussions I've aired a couple of things that I hadn't really considered before speaking them, that will affect my approach. Caregiver massage doesn't have the same technical challenges that massage of the terminally ill does; it's appropriate for a beginning student with the right emotional stance - and I've been there; I think I would be OK at it. I commented that one way of addressing that is the Zen way - to let your stories about the world go, and come back to the body, back to the moment, without judgement. We are learning various grounding exercises, emotional self-defense (how big is your aura?), and so forth. But my own Zen practice addresses those same concerns, and in a kinder way; I will look for time and space to sit meditation briefly before and after sessions.
This is a great read, the holistic approach you are taking in developing your niche. You will do well integrating your skills passions and interest to your clients and the greater world out there. Just keep you aura shield raised to the aura vampires out there!