Ahusband and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all of his beer.
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes.."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started
Some newly-married friends were visiting us when the
topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three
children, while the young husband demurred, saying two would
be enough for him. They discussed this discrepancy for a
few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to
things by saying boldly,
"After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."
Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted,
"Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I cant. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
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