A letter from the IT guy to you. ( the user.)
Dear Mr. user.
1.Please choose a complicated login password so you will forget them and call me angry that the server doesnt accept them but yesterday it did.
2.Please ignore as long as you can when the server asks you to change the password , it is so nice when you get blocked out. And by the way, if you ever wondered: yes , WE KNOW!!!
3.Please put all your files, folders, bags and whatever you can on top of the pc to make it interesting for us to check if the cable is connected.
4.I am so sorry that after formatting your pc I didnt organize your icons the way you like also please forgive us for not restoring your desktop image with you and Ralf the dog.
5.When you surf the net and a window pops up saying congratulation , you just won 100000000000000 $ , click here to collect , as you click the accept button , please dial us , yes , we know , you didnt do nothing , the pc got crazy y itself.
6.If the dam windows asks are you sure it doesnt try to undermine your authority , please read, if you choose not to , please start writing the check for my visit tomorrow and yes , I know, it happened by itself
7.Please leave as many tissue paper around the keyboard , it makes us feel so at home.
8.Yes, I know you are not dumb , please check again if the printer is plugged in!!!
9.I know the guy in the pc store told you its plug and play he also told you to read the manual, the manual sais to insert and run the cd attached!
10.No, I am not asleep , its ok to call me at 11:00 pm. I enjoy it , please to so more often.
11.If you dont pay the bill the ISP will disconnect you. Yes, I know that the little tow pcs show you are connected. Trust me. You are not!
12.If you called the isp support instead of us and they told you to change the ip of the server , its not my fault that I didnt tell you not to do so! Use your common sence!!!
13.For the million time: when I say double click I mean on he left button!
14.Please , if you can , when I work on your pc , can you stand behind me very very close so I could know what you eat for breakfast? ( bacon are my favorite )
15.When you do so, please ask me every step what am I doing.
16.If you can , please save some files under windows directory so when I back up your pc you can ask me why I didnt back up them. It makes it so fun!
17.When a program doesnt respond, try clicking on it for 20-30 times thats usually help!
18.When you erase a file by mistake , please dont call us right away , try waiting for a week or tow. It makes it so much easier to help you then!
19.If you just installed some program and the pc crashed , please dont tell us. We like to guess! We like the challenge!
20.And to conclude: sorry to inform you, a computer doesnt do stuff by itself. NEVER
LOL, Bman...that reminded me of an email that I got a few years back of an IT Customer Service call...don't know if it's true or not, but it makes a funny story!
This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think
this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the
*******Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the
customer care department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the ******* organization for
"Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former ******* Customer
Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations!)
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have
a
little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
goes
into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
wall."
"Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
cable."
"Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
your
computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
the
window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power failure."
"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you
still
have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too f***ing stupid to own a computer.
LOL Cuddle, with some of the calls I have gotten, I can believe it is true. I saw an almost identical call transcript of a call to company I used to work for. I have also walked over to different area of building to check on one that wasn't working and plugged it back in. It was easier to walk over then to spend time explaining what to do over phone.
Thomas
"Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate ------------------------------------- Dear Desperate: First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0! is an Operating System. Please enter the command: "I Thought You Loved Me.exe" and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 . In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software t o improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. Good Luck, Tech Support" ************** Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
THANK YOU!
havent LOL that much for a verylong time
good one!
These are funny!
With the exception of the snakes. Nude in MA, I'll take bugs in my computer any time over snakes. Snakes and I do not see I to I:especially not if we do. The bugs in my computer annoy the heck out of me: But if I ever see any snakes crawling out of it, I'm outta here!
And don't try anything funny: you've all been warned ...
But with that little exception, this was really funny!I'm tempted to forward the forum to all my IT friends!
Badger
I had trouble with my computer, so I called David, the ten-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. David clicked a few buttons and solved the problem.
I asked him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to sound dumb, but nevertheless inquired, "What's an ID ten T error? In case I need to fix it again."
He grinned, "You've never heard of an ID ten T error?"
"No," I said.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like the little twerp ...
Jen
************** Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants. The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough since women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
LOL! What a great punchline!
I had trouble with my computer, so I called David, the ten-year-old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. David clicked a few buttons and solved the problem. I asked him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to sound dumb, but nevertheless inquired, "What's an ID ten T error? In case I need to fix it again." He grinned, "You've never heard of an ID ten T error?"
"No," I said. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T I used to like the little twerp ... Jen
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