A nurse at a hospital received a call from an anxious patient."I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said."Are you light-headed?" the nurse asked."No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
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A Rabbi walks over to a nurse at the Hospital and said Hello Nurse, I got a call that a patient wants to see me but I cant remember who it was.
The nurse takes a guess and walks into a patients room, wakes her up, and asks Did you ask for a Rabbi?
No the patient says sleepily I ordered the chefs salad
A Rabbi walks over to a nurse at the Hospital and said Hello Nurse, I got a call that a patient wants to see me but I cant remember who it was. The nurse takes a guess and walks into a patients room, wakes her up, and asks Did you ask for a Rabbi?No the patient says sleepily I ordered the chefs salad.
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A nurse caring for a man from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
A nurse caring for a man from Kentucky asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
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A Tennessee Volunteers fan and a Kentucky Wildcats fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Tennessee fan slams on the brakes.
There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Tennessee Volunteers fan said "We Volunteers never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.
Then he says to the Kentucky fan, "Your turn"...
And the Wildcats fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
A Volunteers fan and a Kentucky Wildcats fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Tennessee fan slams on the brakes.There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Tennessee Volunteers fan said "We Volunteers never pass up an opportunity like this!" And he gets out and has his way with the sheep.Then he says to the Kentucky fan, "Your turn"...And the Wildcats fan bends over and sticks his head in the fence.
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An Alabama student, Vandy student and Tennessee student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Tennessee. The Alabama student opens his lunch box and says, A hotdog again! If I have to eat one more hotdog Im going to jump off this bridge!The Vandy student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time Im going to jump too!Lastly the Tennessee student opens his lunchbox and complains, Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time Im going to end it all too!The next day the Alabama student finds another hotdog and jumps the Vandy student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too finally the Tennessee student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.Later when the three mothers were grieving the Alabama mother cries, If I had only known he didnt like hotdogs, and the Vandy mother cried, I thought salad was good for him. The Tennessee mother then exclaimed, I dont understand he fixed his own lunch every day!
An Alabama student, Vandy student and Tennessee student were all having lunch together on a bridge outside Tennessee. The Alabama student opens his lunch box and says, A hotdog again! If I have to eat one more hotdog Im going to jump off this bridge!The Vandy student then opens his lunch box and exclaims, Salad again! If I have to eat salad one more time Im going to jump too!Lastly the Tennessee student opens his lunchbox and complains, Peanut butter and jelly! If I get peanut butter and jelly one more time Im going to end it all too!The next day the Alabama student finds another hotdog and jumps the Vandy student got salad again and threw himself off the bridge too finally the Tennessee student finds peanut butter and jelly again and jumps to his demise as well.Later when the three mothers were grieving the Alabama mother cries, If I had only known he didnt like hotdogs, and the Vandy mother cried, I thought salad was good for him. The Tennessee mother then exclaimed, I dont understand he fixed his own lunch every day!
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A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
A philosophy professor walks in to give his class their final. Placing his chair on his desk the professor instructs the class, "Using every applicable thing you've learned in this course, prove to me that this chair DOES NOT EXIST."
So, pencils are writing and erasers are erasing, students are preparing to embark on novels proving that this chair doesn't exist, except for one student. He spends thirty seconds writing his answer, then turns his final in to the astonishment of his peers.
Time goes by, and the day comes when all the students get their final grades ... and to the amazment of the class, the student who wrote for thirty seconds gets the highest grade in the class.
His answer to the question: "What chair?"
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A job hunting philosophy major, went here, there and everywhere in his search for employment, but in vain.Having run out of options, he swallowed his pride and took up the offer of playing a bear in a costume at a zoo.He was locked up in a cage, where he was supposed to imitate various bear-like movements to entertain visitors.To his horror, another bear appeared in the cage and started approaching him.He panicked and was on the brink of collapse when the bear said: "Don't be afraid. I'm also a philosophy major."
A job hunting philosophy major, went here, there and everywhere in his search for employment, but in vain.Having run out of options, he swallowed his pride and took up the offer of playing a bear in a costume at a zoo.He was locked up in a cage, where he was supposed to imitate various bear-like movements to entertain visitors.To his horror, another bear appeared in the cage and started approaching him.He panicked and was on the brink of collapse when the bear said: "Don't be afraid. I'm also a philosophy major."
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Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"
Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life.When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said,'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"
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Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ''Sorry, but you can't eat your own food in here.'' So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.
Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ''Sorry, but you can't eat your own food in here.'' So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.
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If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
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Why don't vegetarian women scream during orgasms?They refuse to admit that a piece of meat gives them pleasure!
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