Gardeno eden I just looke at you profile will have to agree with those that have comment on your lack of experience. I am not talking about as a nudist (I have less than 6 months) but it is life experience that you only gain with age. You are fallinf into the same trap as the people you are trying to get to change their minds. You are labeling them and filing the into generalized groups. By doing this it you against them making the "deck stacked against you". It is a social problem, which will take generations to change. In some ways you cause me to look back to when I joined the Army. I really thought I was going to get them to see and do things my way. I wound up in a lot of trouble and lost my fist promotion in less than a week. When I was transfered to a new base I decided I need to learn the system and use it
to my advantage rather than try to change what was immovable. So learn to work from within. Ed
Ed, please tell me how it is that I'm generalizing the others into groups. If I'm doing something wrong, I want to know about it. I understand that this is not against me personally, but I happen to be one of the people who is on the receiving end. I don't see this as me trying to force people to do things my way. I see it as the fair way which is a general principle that is supposed to be accepted in a society...treat all people equally, let conduct be the judge...
I understand your point about working from within, but to me it seems very deceptive...I'm not saying dishonest, but misleading. I feel that if there is opposition, it has to be expressed. To work within a system that one disagrees with is almost affirming that the system is correct.That's the way I see it.
My point was, which I will clarify, that you said that you will make friends with single males once you get to know them. Your profile statement gives a very different impression. When a single male (who doesn't know you) reads it, he gets the impression that you will not want to befriend with him and might think that you won't even talk to him in chat.
I'm not so sure that's necessarily a bad thing, ESPECIALLY since they've said otherwise in the very public forums ! ( and probably in chat as well, but I don't do chat so can't know )
It automagically filters out anyone who won't even bother with the forums, or other postings, and those who do bother already know what the message *really* means. Mission accomplished, and without dealing with those who wouldn't understand anyway.
Seems a good ( if intricate ) plan to me !
It's meaningless to YOU in fact, as they've gotten to know a bit more about you from your missives here.
Doesn't mean you'd be accepted, but it does suggest that you've already bypassed that one bit, doesn't it ?
Sometimes, things aren't always as they appear at first blush, but close enough for the intended audience.
As I understand it Curt, it all comes down to the following...
1) The messages appear to be against single males but the underlying purpose is to deter anybody who appears untrustworthy.
2) Most of the bad or untrustworthy requests are coming from single males. The reason for this is not necessarily because single males are more likely to cause problems, but because there's so much more of them than women or couples.
3) Testimony from the Whispering Pines articles and from some members, including yourself, acknowledges that women also cause problems. So there is no reason to believe that a woman or couple will never come collecting friends witha bad intention.
If the real purpose is to prevent being overwhelmed by unwantedcontact, thendoesn't the suggestion I made in post #112 carry out that message. It is lessconfusing than 'no single males' and it pays more attention to conduct than gender.
The practical results of "No Single Males" is that a man will not send a request without getting to know them first, but a woman or couple with a bad intention will. The suggestion from post #112 tells every member of this site to getto know the person first and thatfailing to do so will result in a denied friend request.
Rather than coming in here and saying 'the hell with all of you, you're wrong' I'm being constructive here. I'm thinking of ways to address both concerns. Post#112 does not compromise the defensive purpose or message and in some ways, it enhances it. As I said before, this does not need to be a win-lose situation.
As I understand it Curt, it all comes down to the following...1) The messages appear to be against single males but the underlying purpose is to deter anybody who appears untrustworthy.
There's only one part you overlook, but you haven't been here long enough yet.
When these poor souls are inundated with requests from so many purporting to be single males, hundreds per day, the work figuring out which is the needle and which are merely the haystack can be overwhelming.
When being attacked by a mob, one doesn't try to figure out which individual might be OK. One slams the door, and sort it out later.
My quarel is not with those who would request "no single males" but with those who make the tag necessary !
Those morons have not only created a bad rap for themselves, but for me as well, which I do not deserve. THAT is what *I* object to !
Though I don't know, it's probably the same reason for "private" profiles available ONLY to already approved friends.
The major problem with very clear points being made in chat and in the forum is that there is no record whatever of chat conversations and few go there anyway, and there are 17,836 posts (as of this moment) in the forum and no search function to look through them, even if one had a useful search term. Newcomers to TN obviously have not read through every post looking for the possibility of an escape clause in the "If you're a single male, piss off!" dictates. I have no quarrel whatsoever with any member stating in their profile, "No single males!" To each his own. I refuse to accept friends not born on Earth. GOE212's point is that if a member makes exceptions to a blanket "No single males!" statement in a profile, the exception should also be in the profile rather than requiring poring through almost 18,000 posts to find it. That's simple logic. If I see that in a profile, as a single male I have no further interest in that person, no matter what else the profile says. That, I submit, is the reaction of the vast majority of single men (the clue-challenged jerks are another matter entirely). Whether the person will indeed make room for them is unknown to them, and they have no cause to search for the loopholes.
There are some very valid points here. I have friends who state no single males in their profile and I understand the reason it is there. I do feel that it would be a lot simpler to post the things mentioned in earlier post about getting to know someonefirst would be better than blanket no single males. I got to know them in chat and forums and they sent me a friend request. I have others who accepted my friend request because I sent them an email introducing my self and telling them why I wanted to be their friend. The key was that I read their profile and showed why I was interested. It probably didn't hurt that I am certified long time member and I have a lot of pics on my profile thar aimply show activites I enjoy while nude.
Thank you for your kind words Jackie, and it has been a pleasure getting to know you. I am looking forward to dancing with you. LOL
I have always felt that you should treat someone as you want to be treated. It doesn't matter if you are in person or on the internet. If some of the rude people could get a cyber punch in the nose for their behavior, they might behave better.
Thomas
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