RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Semper Fi

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia , told police he observed an African American male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket.
When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines detained the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back.
Thankfully the injury did not seem to be life threatening .

After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.
The suspect was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw... injuries he apparently sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I was going to take a bus to see a personal injury lawyer, so I called andasked,
"Can yougive me directions from
the bus station toyour office?"
"Sure," answered the lawyer,
"when you getto the station, just walk outside,
lie down on
thesidewalk and start moaning. Someone from our office will bealong shortly."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!"
The doctor calmly responded,
"Now, settle down; I'll fit you in... You'll just have to be a little patient."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

Q: What do West Virginians do on Halloween?
A: Pump kin!

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

I heard of a 9 year old girl in the Ozarks that is still a virgin.
She is faster than Florence Griffith-Joyner (Flo-Jo) ever was.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

With one woman I dated the sex was so good even the neighbors had a cigarette.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

With one woman I dated, the sex was so bad, the neighbours left after 5 minutes.

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

The only time in this world you want to be completely honest is when the paramedics ask,
"What did you take?"
~ Berta - Two and a Half Men

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

A paramedic was asked on a local TV talk-show program: "What was your most unusual and challenging 911 call?"
"Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing."
"What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked.
"Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out four guys before we found the one who was dead."

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RE: Random thoughts and jokes

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night.

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