Clean Jokes Only.
Three women escape from a penitentiary. A brunette, a redhead and a blonde. They run for miles and finally come to a barn, they decide to hide in some potato sacks. An hour later a sheriff and his deputy arrive at the barn. The sheriff tells his deputy to check the sacks. He kicks the first sack with the brunette in it. "Bow-wow!" says the brunette. "There's a puppy in this one!" says the deputy. So he kicks the second sack which the redhead in hiding in. "Meow!" says the redhead. "Sheriff there's a kitty in this one!" So he goes to the third sack with the blonde and kicks the sack. Nothing. So he kicks it a second time. The blonde replies, "Potatoes!"
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time.
After inquiring about each others health one asked how the others husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner,
had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"
"I opened a can of peas instead."
I came home from work one day and my wife was wearing her wedding dress and drinking wine.
I figured I was gonna get lucky reliving our wedding night.
Then I realized she was actually that far behind with the laundry.
Clean Joke = Laundry --- OK?
Andrew and Morgan are playing on the swings together.
"I'm really worried," Andrew says, "My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!"
"What have you got to worry about?" Morgan replies, "Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
"Yeah, I guess," responds Andrew, "But what if they try to escape?"
A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy,
"Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."
"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host.
"I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."
"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon."
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