I like the idea of making an appointment. I think I will give this a try, there is a club not too far out of Seattle. IF she will agree to go is the first step.
That's how I handled my first time. It was planned way ahead of time. Since my wife was a bit mortified by the idea of being openly seen nude, I reached an agreement with her: we'd go on a slow weekday, we'd leave whenever she was ready, and she wouldn't have to go nude. That level of compromise made it more difficult for her to say no. So I called the resort, essentially asking for permission for my wife to remain dressed. The resort manager had no problem with it. So we took a weekday off, and headed out on a spring morning.
- We arrived at the resort and parked, and I immediately disrobed completely. I think that defused some of my wife's nervousness, as she opted to come out of her tank top and shorts, and at least change into the summer dress she had brought along. We registered and went for a stroll. There were maybe 2-3 people in the entire resort, quite a distance from us. The first stop was the sauna room, which was completely enclosed; so she felt comfortable and hidden enough to remove her dress there. When we exited, there was still no one around, so she opted to leave her dress unfastened and air-dry. We continued touring the premises, and arrived by the hot tub. She couldn't wait to get in, tossed her dress on a hanger and got in the tub. We sat in there for a fewminutes. chatting, and as we exited the tub to get to the towels, the "unthinkable" happened: a visitor walked in. And he knew me from college. I was a bit concerned as I could see my wife squirming and trying to hide behind me as my classmate approached us. But as we talked and started discussing nudism, college, and professional opportunities, my wife started becoming engaged in the conversation and started relaxing; first emerging from behind me, and then standing right besides me. When my classmate took his leave and said bye,I thought for sure my wife'd be done with the day - and done with nudism; especially as she put her dress on and requested we return to the car. When we got back and I opened the trunk,I was in for a bit of a surprise; as I shut the trunk and started reaching for my clothes, I saw her standing across from me with just her tank top on! She didn't want to leave, she just wanted to change into something a little less "covered"! Evidently, being actually seennude by someone else - and experiencing the harmlessness of it - had sort of "defused" the fear of it. So a properly prepared trial run turned into my public nudity-phobic wife walking around with just a t-top on.
- Now it's easy to say: "If my wife could do it, so can yours." But I believe with some careful and methodical preparation, it can be true.I can tell you that my wife had no intention of being even remotely undressed when she walked into that resort that morning. None. By the time we actually left, she was standing by the car completely nude, talking to the resort manager and telling him that she'd like to come back. It can happen.
I love the outdoors and the benefits of going nude. But my wife will not even talk about it. Any ideas?
I can recommend getting a copy of my brochure for reluctant partners (online at www.travelites.info/brochure.hmtl or I can email it to you). Leave it where she'll see it; don't just hand it to her. When you're sure she's taken a look at it. Ask her if she'll accept a compromise. In exchange for an hr. of her time accompanying you, offer her something she'd really like especially if she knows you would prefer to not. Perhaps you cooking dinner, a special dinner out, a shopping trip, her choice of tv show or movie, something in your budget. Let her know that she can wear a long tshirt or pareo (sarong) except if she decides to enjoy the hot tub or pool. There are clubs out there that allow this especially for first timers.
Be nude as often as possible at home to possibly get her used to it.
Three more things: be patient, be patient, be patient. Nudism is not for everyone.
Married couples should be able to talk about anything and everything. A marriage is about being open and honest with each other ... open communication is the key. I might be that she is unwilling to tell her true feelings about your nudity, her nudity and nudity in general. How do you get your wife to join in? I'd start with opening the lines of communication. Start with ... "I know you have concerns, fear, doubts, dislikes or are uncomfortable with my nudity and nudity in general, can we just talk about that?" If the lines of communication are easier while clothed ... then by all means ... put something on to open those lines up. Things will get said that may hurt but it's better to get them out so you can discuss all the points of fear, concern, doubt ... etc. You have to address her questions and concerns and that only happens with open communication...if she's not willing to talk, there's something else going on cuz wife's want and need to talk and we need to listen. :)
In my case it has been a hopeless issue twice. First marriage, she is a doctor of medicin and we went camping during our marriage, but nudism was not on, strictly. Second time marriage, was even worse, like from the frying pan into the fire. Less tolerance towards nudism and made me feel, as if I was a sexual offender. It was never possible to encourage nudism to any of them, however, I did persist to be the naturist hereafter.
I , of course, am very fortunate. My wife took to nudism like a duck to water. She enjoyed it quite a bit in the beginning. She became a bit apprehensive later when I wanted to go public/social. She again adapted quite well and enjoyed it, meeting our lifelong nudist friends early on. As time has passed ... she's developed some body image issues that she's working through. But for the most part ... she's still onboard and will be til I die. After that ... I'm not sure. We've talked about nudity and nudism/naturism and I talk about ALL the topics we discuss. Sometimes she chimes in and I'll post her thoughts but she won't participate in online discussions. The thing is ... we talk openly about everything...everything. I can't imagine being married to someone that you can not talk to about everything. How can someone sleep with someone, share a life together and have issues with seeing that person naked, not want to discuss intimate details of their lives, talk openly about our feelings and desires, our hopes, fears, concerns ... My wife and I know everything about each other and if either of us is clothed for too long ... we know somethings up. If we aren't yacking at each other ... then ... somethings up and we talk about it. I, of course, am the fortunate one. My wife will ask me ... "why aren't you naked!?" Or ..."why do you have clothes on...are we going someplace?" Of course ... those times are few and far between but sometimes I get caught up in something. The point is ... ya gotta talk ... about everything. If they don't wanna talk about everything, what's the point in being married to someone!??
Wise words, Andy!
When Cynthia and I were dating, after about the 3rd or 4th date, I finally brought up the fact that I was a naturist, and we discussed the whole philosophy and practice, my experience, and that if she was open to try it, she might like it also. To her credit, and one of the reasons I eventually asked her to marry me, she was open to trying it. I took her up to the clothing-optional club where I was a member at the time, Elysium, and after about 5 min. she opted out of her clothes, and weve never looked back since.
As Cheri said previously, nudism is not for everyone. Generations of societal, religious, and peer pressure reinforcing a negative body image and body shame, especially for women, can be a force that is difficult for many to overcome. The key is communication, openness, and patience on both partners parts. Like Andy said, I could never imagine being with anyone who could not at least discuss it, and even if they were not open to participating, would try and prevent me from enjoying something so natural, so relaxing and liberating, and something so deeply ingrained in my being.
I can't imagine being married to someone that you can not talk to about everything. How can someone sleep with someone, share a life together and have issues with seeing that person naked, not want to discuss intimate details of their lives, talk openly about our feelings and desires, our hopes, fears, concerns ... ... The point is ... ya gotta talk ... about everything. If they don't wanna talk about everything, what's the point in being married to someone!??
Indeed, Andy. That's what it takes in a healthy marriage. My advice to young people is this: Test out a soul mate and your capability of agreeing on a perspective -- his/her stance on nudism, participation therein him/herself, sincerity, fidelity, trustworthiness (not abusing it for his/her own fetishes), reliability (to talk about desires, feelings, hopes, dreams, concerns), destiny to be a good friend/spouse/parent, and good spiritual influence in your life -- therefore being sure it's the right spouse, before ever going steady or promising "We'll be together forever!" Once a commitment has been made, it must be honored! Marriage cannot necessarily flip a switch, so I wouldn't advise marrying with the hope of changing a spouse's mind. I recommend getting the right spouse to begin with.
The advise everyone gives about "be patient and don't pressure" is the way to go; I couldn't have said it better myself. For those who become nudist socially after already getting married, what else can you do but that? If you're not married and your soul mate comes around to agree, that might become the spouse; otherwise, someone else be the spouse. Either way, I would never recommend waiting until it's too late! I will likely not have to deal with that in marriage as long as I don't wait that late....
My first wife was the type that being nude was the mortal sin. she would just about get dressed to take a bath. So when I remarried it never even crossed my mind to ask her about going to a nude beach or anything like that. It totally blew me away when she asked me if I would like to go to one. I had gone skinny dipping a number of times when I was younger & was stationed in Germany. But this was the first time a woman had ever asked me to go. But all that to say this. It all depends on the woman some love being nude & others never will.
Actions
Back to TopicsReply to TopicShare this topic
Get paid just by sending us users/traffic.
Signup takes seconds, start now!
Signup as an affiliate!