That BDSM shoot and the rape dilemma
Richie wanted me to share the story of my shoot with Thomas when he tied me up eagle spread.
I am not a model. My first nude pic was taken 6 years ago - by D. I have a dancing background, I can still do the splits so during these years I modelled a lot - but only for D. Then once I modelled for a German semi-pro photographer and I went all the way to erotic. D was chaperoning me and was involved in some shoots. I told that story - the shoot was cut short by a small accident.
Then I started to shoot my girlfriends and to enjoy it. None refused and they all enjoyed the sessions and the results. In time, most wanted to progress to erotic, which for me as a non professional covers everything from self-plessure to insertion to "soft sex". Soft sex is simulated sex, you can touch and make believe but there is no penetration. These session are usually done at my place, with me and D as co-models, sometimes the girls bring their partners. I'm not saying that actual sex never happens if the girl wants it, but this is normally towards the end of the session with their partner.
Then I ganged up with T, who had this big annex and unused building, almost 50 sqm, which he arranged as a photo studio, and we are often shooting together.
Three of my models (two friends and the friend of a friend) also modelled with T, who is a good erotic model. He is not big or anything, but he is often erect and is a Jew, so he is circumcised, which is rare in France - in fact, his was the first circumcised cock I ever touched.
So we developed a kind of intimacy and I medelled for T three times. The first time I did some basic stuff like stripping, dancing and catwalking in front of camera; the second I let him direct and sure enough I spent a lot of time on my four or open legged; and the third one I accepted something a bit more erotic. - this is when he tied me up and pretended to rape me.
He tied me up, eagle spread, to the outside wall of his studio. He had gagged me with a rubber ball and then he cut off my very see-through dress around my boobs and all the way up to my navel. He did touch me - he squeezed my boobs, pinched my nipples and opened me up with his hand for the camera (without actually touching my more sensitive bits). T has bizarre hands, very old and with fingers like sausages - and he is more than a decade younger than D, who has very young, beautiful hands. I think those old, rude, paysant's hands on my skin look cool, they give a nice, erotic contrast. And yes, I had agreed to be touched.
He also approached his erection to me and pretended to enter. He didn't and this shoot only lasted for only a few minutes because I realised that the neighbour could see us from one of his top floor windows so I moaned to let me go. And by the big smile the neighbour gave me next time I visited I think he did see me.
So that was that shoot. Now here comes the dilemma. Suppose that T hadn't stopped and he had actually taken me. I was neither expecting and I was not in a position to oppose -not even to protest too clearly., nor wanting to have sex with him so this would have been statutory rape.
Now, to answer some questions guys may ask. Was this a provocation? Yes, erotic shooting is provoking. Was I aroused? Yes, there is something arousing about being so exposed and powerless, I won't lie, I think my arousal was even visible in one pic I posted. Would I have had an orgasm had he taken me? Most likely and probably more than one. Does this mean this would not have been a rape? No it doesn't. I read that a majority of rapes are committed by people the victim knows and 15 to 30% of raped women do have orgasms during the act, which only adds to their psychological distress. These are just physical reactions and they make the women blame themselves and be even more ashamed and traumatized of what happened.
So here is the scenario: T rapes me, I have three orgasms, then he unties me and lets me go. What would and what should I do?
1. A rape is a rape is a rape. I take his camera card and drive straight to the first police station. I think most here will say this is the right thing to do. On the other hand, T is basically a nice guy, maybe he just lost it for the 2-3 minutes he spent inside me, there was teasing, alcohol and arousal involved... So he goes to jail, spends there 7-8 years, comes back a broken man, in the sexual offenders register for life, at 55, with no one who would hire him, becomes homeless and dies in the street... Is the punishment proportional to the guilt?
2. I ask D to beat him into a pulp, break a few bones without leaving more than a few scars as permanent reminder of his crime... D knows a lot about the human body and is twice T's size, he could modulate the beating and put T in hospital for a couple of months and make him limp for a year or so... And I'm sure T would never sue...
3. I beat him up myself. I am stronger than he is and I have 10 years of martial arts behind me... On the other hand, my beating would be softer. I don't have D's punching power and honestly I don't see myself beating up an unresisting opponent. I'm also very good at arm bars, but I don't think I could break an elbow like this, in cold blood... Maybe I could tie him up and mutilate him a bit? No, I could never cut a guy's penis off, but how about tattooing RAPIST on it? Or on his chest?
4. I just slam the door on my way out, never to see or speak to T again...
5. Such is life, let's pretend this has never happened and go on with our friendship and partnership in our endeavour of making beautiful erotic pictures...
6. Hell, now that the last taboo has been broken, why not go all the way into porn art - and yes, occasionally have sex with T if we both feel like it. I'm sure D wouldn't mind, especially if I let him also have sex with my girlfriends and models (I know a couple who definitely wouldn't say no...).
So what should I theoretically do in this scenario and what do you think I would actually do? If there is a difference between the two, why is that?
Wow that is a good question !
Being held against your will is the first issue ! You would not be able to stop what happened to you if you wanted. You might have had an orgasm but thats the body doing its job protecting you from damage.
The other questions are basically the response to being raped ! More violence will not make you stop thinking about it. But it would help knowing that the rapist would think about not doing it again.
As for not showing that it bothered you might be tuff. Or even having him go farther next time. That would be only your choice ! Or Ds !
Wow that is a good question !
Being held against your will is the first issue ! You would not be able to stop what happened to you if you wanted. You might have had an orgasm but thats the body doing its job protecting you from damage.
The other questions are basically the response to being raped ! More violence will not make you stop thinking about it. But it would help knowing that the rapist would think about not doing it again.
As for not showing that it bothered you might be tuff. Or even having him go farther next time. That would be only your choice ! Or Ds !
It sounds like the shoot was a success for both of you. He interacted with a beautiful woman who willingly posed for the camera. I'm assuming he had permission to touch you for aesthetic photographic purposes. You were somewhat excited about the process, or you probably would not have put yourself there.
One often wonders why one would participate in a BDSM shoot if it weren't for the exhilaration from the scenario or perhaps for your professional portfolio or, last, just plain sexual pleasure.
Since there was no penetration, and he did honor your request to untie you, I would say there is no dilemma to be concerned about.
By the way, the photos were amazing!! I'm sorry they disappeared so quickly.
So much in there!
I guess it all comes down to consent and trust; in some ways the same as all encounters of this nature and in some ways different given your additional maturity over a pair of excited teens (well, maybe) and the specific circumstances and arrangements around the nature of what is nominally a photo shoot.
Until now I didn't realise D was not chaperoning every such event and this event was indeed not under his gaze from the sidelines or even some participation. A degree of trust is already in evidence!
I imagine T would be well aware of the potential for a reponse from D after any breach of the agreed boundaries, no matter how tempting, and likely played the game of skirting the boundaries of the agreement as close as possible. Had he crossed the line then certainly all remedies could be on the table whether legal or not. I guess it comes down your decision in a area that has been fraught throughout the ages. Would you accept a small beach as not being sufficient to end your relationship or would you throw that aside with possible retribution? You've certainly established a relationship of sorts and I expect both of you wish it to continue. How bad was the (conceptual) violation in your eyes? Or D's?
In Australia there's been a strong duplication of the #metoo movement that began in the USA. This has manifested itself in trivial interactions on university grounds being elevated to being equivalent to rape, for example. Similarly, there has been news about non-payment for sexual services (is that rape or a contract dispute?) or sexual assault within marriage (did someone really exceed those vows that pledge access to each others' bodies no matter how delicately worded that pledge was?). A case that gained national attention was an alleged rape inside our federal parliament house that was never proven to a criminal level, helped bring down a government (which had grown stale, but the opposition did not hold back in weaponising the event) and resulted the the claimant receiving a generous payout from the new government following the election which was put towards the purchase of a French chateau. Litigation us still ongoing.
Richie wanted me to share the story of my shoot with Thomas when he tied me up eagle spread.I am not a model. My first nude pic was taken 6 years ago - by D. I have a dancing background, I can still do the splits so during these years I modelled a lot - but only for D. Then once I modelled for a German semi-pro photographer and I went all the way to erotic. D was chaperoning me and was involved in some shoots. I told that story - the shoot was cut short by a small accident.Then I started to shoot my girlfriends and to enjoy it. None refused and they all enjoyed the sessions and the results. In time, most wanted to progress to erotic, which for me as a non professional covers everything from self-plessure to insertion to "soft sex". Soft sex is simulated sex, you can touch and make believe but there is no penetration. These session are usually done at my place, with me and D as co-models, sometimes the girls bring their partners. I'm not saying that actual sex never happens if the girl wants it, but this is normally towards the end of the session with their partner.Then I ganged up with T, who had this big annex and unused building, almost 50 sqm, which he arranged as a photo studio, and we are often shooting together.Three of my models (two friends and the friend of a friend) also modelled with T, who is a good erotic model. He is not big or anything, but he is often erect and is a Jew, so he is circumcised, which is rare in France - in fact, his was the first circumcised cock I ever touched.So we developed a kind of intimacy and I medelled for T three times. The first time I did some basic stuff like stripping, dancing and catwalking in front of camera; the second I let him direct and sure enough I spent a lot of time on my four or open legged; and the third one I accepted something a bit more erotic. - this is when he tied me up and pretended to rape me.He tied me up, eagle spread, to the outside wall of his studio. He had gagged me with a rubber ball and then he cut off my very see-through dress around my boobs and all the way up to my navel. He did touch me - he squeezed my boobs, pinched my nipples and opened me up with his hand for the camera (without actually touching my more sensitive bits). T has bizarre hands, very old and with fingers like sausages - and he is more than a decade younger than D, who has very young, beautiful hands. I think those old, rude, paysant's hands on my skin look cool, they give a nice, erotic contrast. And yes, I had agreed to be touched.He also approached his erection to me and pretended to enter. He didn't and this shoot only lasted for only a few minutes because I realised that the neighbour could see us from one of his top floor windows so I moaned to let me go. And by the big smile the neighbour gave me next time I visited I think he did see me.So that was that shoot. Now here comes the dilemma. Suppose that T hadn't stopped and he had actually taken me. I was neither expecting and I was not in a position to oppose -not even to protest too clearly., nor wanting to have sex with him so this would have been statutory rape.Now, to answer some questions guys may ask. Was this a provocation? Yes, erotic shooting is provoking. Was I aroused? Yes, there is something arousing about being so exposed and powerless, I won't lie, I think my arousal was even visible in one pic I posted. Would I have had an orgasm had he taken me? Most likely and probably more than one. Does this mean this would not have been a rape? No it doesn't. I read that a majority of rapes are committed by people the victim knows and 15 to 30% of raped women do have orgasms during the act, which only adds to their psychological distress. These are just physical reactions and they make the women blame themselves and be even more ashamed and traumatized of what happened.So here is the scenario: T rapes me, I have three orgasms, then he unties me and lets me go. What would and what should I do?1. A rape is a rape is a rape. I take his camera card and drive straight to the first police station. I think most here will say this is the right thing to do. On the other hand, T is basically a nice guy, maybe he just lost it for the 2-3 minutes he spent inside me, there was teasing, alcohol and arousal involved... So he goes to jail, spends there 7-8 years, comes back a broken man, in the sexual offenders register for life, at 55, with no one who would hire him, becomes homeless and dies in the street... Is the punishment proportional to the guilt?2. I ask D to beat him into a pulp, break a few bones without leaving more than a few scars as permanent reminder of his crime... D knows a lot about the human body and is twice T's size, he could modulate the beating and put T in hospital for a couple of months and make him limp for a year or so... And I'm sure T would never sue...3. I beat him up myself. I am stronger than he is and I have 10 years of martial arts behind me... On the other hand, my beating would be softer. I don't have D's punching power and honestly I don't see myself beating up an unresisting opponent. I'm also very good at arm bars, but I don't think I could break an elbow like this, in cold blood... Maybe I could tie him up and mutilate him a bit? No, I could never cut a guy's penis off, but how about tattooing RAPIST on it? Or on his chest?4. I just slam the door on my way out, never to see or speak to T again...5. Such is life, let's pretend this has never happened and go on with our friendship and partnership in our endeavour of making beautiful erotic pictures...6. Hell, now that the last taboo has been broken, why not go all the way into porn art - and yes, occasionally have sex with T if we both feel like it. I'm sure D wouldn't mind, especially if I let him also have sex with my girlfriends and models (I know a couple who definitely wouldn't say no...).So what should I theoretically do in this scenario and what do you think I would actually do? If there is a difference between the two, why is that?
Wow, thanks Flora, i thought it would make an interesting topic.
Firstly, fabulous pics of the event, love to see them again or more simply super.
The theoretical rape... I'd imagine it would be quite difficult to prove if T decided to contests, best beat him up yourself! Some self satisfaction there, you'd perhaps then forgive and explore more erotic photography? Who knows.
Rx
Thanks guys. Rosewood, the dilemma is there whatever actually happened because it starts from a premise I, as narrator, set forward: I was raped. Whether this was true or not is inconsequential. Maybe it was consensual sex. Maybe the hand was actually D's. Maybe nothing of this ever happened and I just Photoshopped some internet pics... This is not important, to me the interesting part is the dilemma.
Richie, I think on the contrary, the rape was photographed, maybe also taped, all I needed was to get a hold on that card and, as said, I am stronger than T.
This is not a theoretical dilemma either. My point is two fold. First paradox is that the harsher the punishment of crimes in family or among friends, the less likely it is that the victim will report it. So T penetrated me for all of 2 min - should his life be destroyed? Or say D beats me up: should I report him? Sentences against domestic violence are so harsh that they can actually destroy a man's life. Plus, sending him to prison for ten years would also destroy my financial situation. Maybe we have a mortgage and without his earnings I'll have to sell the house. Maybe I have no earnings of myself and I'll find myself in the street - would I prefer that or being occasionally beaten or raped? Because yes, suppose D has sex with me and lets assume, by a huge stretch of imagination and suspension of disbelief, that it is not consensual. What should I do?
Th Metoo mouvement had its good parts but there was also a form of overreaction. Now everything is a sexual assault. Sorry, but for me it's not the same if a guy touches my butt in a bus or violently rapes me. Then, the punishments went so high that I may be reluctant to report even an unknown man unless he was really violent.
I travel a lot and I get security advice and training, but that never include issues like not wearing miniskirts or crop tops in certain countries, not getting drunk in bars, not going in guys' hotel rooms etc. I asked why and the answer was "we don't do that because feminist organisations complained that this would be blaming the victim and we cant do that". No stupid. If you tell me to watch my purse or wallet to protect myself against pickpockets is not blaming the victim but if you teach me how to protect myself against rapists is?
My situation was like that of the girl Mike Tyson raped. There was erotic flirtation, alcohol involved (drugs too in their case) and we both put ourselves in a position where we couldn't even start to resist a rape - she by going up to the room of a crazily strong and testosteronic beast who was used to always have it his way, me by letting myself gagged and tied up eagle spread. Raping both of us would have been a child's game (well, a figure of speech, not very appropriate here) and the perpetrator would have barely noticed our resistance. Tyson spent three years in prison, which I think i's kinda fair, today he would spend ten and would become unemployable for life, inscribed for life in the public register of sexual offenders. Which could make a victim reluctant to report,
So again the dilemma is: I let myself tied up and gagged during an erotic photo session and T, under the influence of alcohol, took advantage of this to rape me for all of two minutes and then untied me and apologised. What should I do?
Oh and no, T didn't buy me a new dress and I don't think I can still wear the old one in public. I can only show you pics of the happy time when that dress was whole... I guess next time I'll need to tie T up and cut his own clothes, touch him inappropriately and make him fear he may get raped. That will teach him a lesson.
Your account of training is interesting. The idea of not having regarding for surroundings because "you go, girl" is like leaving your house unlocked. In different times and places (such as many regions in Australia in times past) the ideal can be achieved with security, but that certainly doesn't apply universally. Unfortunately a relaxed attitude to household security is probably gone here, as is, in certain locations, the expectation that daring clothing choices elicit no more than a polite appreciative glace or other expression of appreciation. Our such training emphasises being aware of surroundings and taking appropriate precautions, but that's being prudent and considering staff experiences.
As to the question, I'd never expect to be on either side of the interaction, but would naturally incline to quiet reconciliation, since we are dealing in degrees of transgression rather than an experience that is completely unrelated to what would likely be a legitimate in the environment.
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