Why do guys pretend to be women on TN?
I saw another topic on this question but I felt frustrated because it went on a very moralistic tone, style "that is bad, "they shouldn't do that" or "they should learn to be themselves". I am a believer in trying to understand everyone's point of view and motivations. We are as Manichean as at the time of the Inquisition and claim that whoever does things we dont like is some form of evil - we may call them sometimes something different, say Narcissists, but the idea is the same - a combination of "who is not with us is against us" (remember the authors? Yes, Mussolini, Stalin and W Bush) and "Evil is what evil does". Both preposterous statements.
I believe that a vast majority of "ladies" on TN actually have a Y chromosome in their genom. So, sine ira et studio (that's "without hate and prejudice", I'm just showing off my forgotten Latin here), why do guys pose as girls here? What do you think?
I can think of a few reasons myself.
First and foremost, guys are so attracted to nudism because they want to see naked girls. Of course, many are mostly attracted to nudism because they like to be seen naked by girls, but those will likely not pretend to be girls, that would defeat the purpose. And we know that single guys are being discriminated against. Many ladies (or "ladies") and couples (or "couples" - behind the vast majority of couples' profiles are also guys) have a "no single man" policy. I am also guilty as charged, I do discriminate, both in my profile and in my group, ENL. I don't reject single guys but I do raise the bar higher for them. If they want to join my group or befriend me they need to send a nice message which proves they are gentlemen. And I get a lot less friends requests since I informed on my profile that I only have one pic in my album - and that is dressed.
But, many will say, why bother, there are billions of pics of naked chicks online. Sure, but we still prefer to have some background about the victims of our voyeurism. Would you rather see a naked pic of an unknown girl or a naked pic of say Taylor Swift, your work colleague or your neighbour's daughter? Even if I promise you that those anonymous girls are far sexier than Taylor, your colleague or your young neighbour? I know that guys dream about relations with perfect strangers but I suspect that they would still prefer the pics of someone they know. This is clearly my case and (looking at myself in the mirror) I don't think I have a Y chromosome (you guys have seen me naked hundreds or even thousands of times, I guess I could still be a guy with androgen insensitivity syndrome, otherwise i appear to be a XX genom type, don't I?).
Second, hiding behind a woman's profile is a bit like peeking through the keyhole or pretending to be a girl in a locker room - it may satisfy some phantasm of hidden voyeurism. There are movies with the guy pretending to be a woman and being exposed to female nudity. There are books and movies with the invisible guy who hangs around in women's shower quarters. It seems that this is a very common phantasm (my man told me he did have the latter when he was young - from all I know, he may still have it). Hmmm, now that I think of it, I would myself like to be the invisible gal, even though I would likely spend more time in powerful men's confidential discussions than in their locker and shower rooms. Which doesn't mean I would never go to the latter though.
Third, there may be a bit of a playful turning the table and flirting with guys just to feel that sexual power we ladies have. We are those who hold the keys to sex. As they say, I have the vagina, I make the rules. It may be sweet for a guy to feel that power and play with it a bit online. Now, if they are smart, playful and entertaining, this is the category of guys I mind the least. I'm not here to get married (polygamy is frowned upon in France), I am here to have some fun and these guys may be entertaining. Think drag queens - I love drag queens, they are fun, splendid and showy and I don't care much about what they hide in their pants - sorry, skirts.
And speaking of drag queens - how many drag kings have you seen? Yes, the desire to be of the opposite gender is far more present in men than in women. I don't remember the exact figure, you can check it online, but I think there are around 4 times more male to female trans persons than the other way round. And this is not (only) about sexual preference, most of them prefer women as sexual partners so they want to become lesbians. Whatever trans may mean, simply cross-dressing, taking hormone therapy or actually having a sex change surgically. And no, this is not because it is easier to manufacture a vagina than a penis.
I don't know why this is. Culturally, you would expect the opposite, our societies (maybe with a few exceptions in Scandinavia) are still male dominated so you would expect more women to want to be men than the other way round. I know I wanted to be a boy in my childhood. I started to wear a bottom on the beach before my pubes appeared just to hide the fact that I was missing those precious dangling bits and when my boobs suddenly started to grow I felt it was a big personal failure. But today I am happy to be a woman, thank you.
Maybe women are more conservative? Less risk takers? Less likely to be at the extremes of the spectrum on every single issue (here I do have some data)? Maybe because they like to chat? Because they can actually give life to new human beings? Maybe because they are the default gender? (Yes, absent the in uterus testosterone surge - or if a foetus' cells are insensitive to it like in the above-mentioned androgen insensitivity syndrome - the baby will appear to be a female despite the XY genome).
This topic is already too long so let's leave aside the guys who pose as couples. I think those are easier to assess and there are two different cases: the voyeurs ("we are a couple bit it's mostly the man online"; "the lady is too shy, but the man is ready to cam with women and couples"...) and the candaulists (the guy is there to show his wife naked but the lady knows nothing about it). You can usually guess the latter because they are certified (you need to be certified to post naked pics) but as single guys and post mostly pics of their naked partners.
So, after all this blurb, why do you think that guys impersonate women on TN?
Hello Flora T,
As a member of the male of the species, and at times a very embarrassed one given the behaviour of some, I think what youre dealing with here is male narcissistic control.
Even hiding behind a key board and using different platforms it still gives them the sense of control and superiority, all I can suggest is that you dont get sucked into there very primitive world because if you react instead of respond you play directly into their hands.
Narcissism also comes in the form of the female and proper name for them is a Misandrist, they play the same games as their male counterparts so its possible that some of these Ivory Tower residents may very well be women. At any rate you live your life according to your rules and values and screw the rest of these keyboard creatures that haunt our lifestyle.
I don't think I can add anything to your suppositions as it's not an area for which I feel I have any insight.
My only thought is that, in general, the male drive is stronger than the female and this can express itself in less conventional ways due to the underlying urge.
As one of the men here on TN that periodically fends off obvious 'women', I can only speculate as to why men pretend to be the opposite gender. Possibly trying to 'Friend' said female to see their photos and add to their collection of successful conquests. Who knows? I did type the question into the search bar and found several responses, one on Quora about a guy on OKCupid that was a good explanation (of his experience anyway) and what happened. Here is part of it:
"As I continued the experiment I found it curious how it was affecting me psychologically. I eventually started messaging guys I thought were interesting. They had witty profiles, were very good looking, or were successful business men. I would find myself getting frustrated when they wouldn't message me back. I would do all of the same sorts of things that consistently got me messages back from pretty girls - I would say something witty, show interest in what they talked about in their profile, etc. Nope. Guys wouldn't message me back. wtf? I'm hot g@d dam mit."
"...Eventually I had some cute guys actually ask me out. I would have gone out with them if I were real. I felt bad that I couldn't."
The funny thing is I have noted the above referenced 'wouldn't message me back' exchange in the Chat room. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? Maybe this will provide some starting point for other respondents here as this is it for me.
I should launch a topic about Narcissism. I am strongly against using this term just like I am against Freudian psychoanalysis. They both are popular because they absolve us of any guilt. It's always somebody else's fault, never ours. We're great and the others are wicked. Evil, narcissist, freaks, psychopaths. Subhumans. We don't need to understand their motivations, they are wrong by definition.
The essence of narcissism is high self-esteem and low empathy. Which is exactly what I described in the previous paragraph. Yes, I believe that those who treat the others as narcissists the most are the biggest narcissists themselves. And I tested this theory on a couple of my friends.
I pose as a man on X. I was just fed up with all the sexual abuse. I have a moderately successful profile, followed by a decent number of members (in the low-to-mid five figure). I am conflictual, I don't let anything pass but I am never insulting or going ad hominem. I happen to have info (facts and data) which I don't take from WaPo, NYT, Le Monde, BBC, Ukrainskaya Pravda, RT or Perviy Kanal Russiya (all the same mere propaganda outlets, really). So I do get into heated arguments and they all ended with sexual threats in my previous account. Now I pretend to be basically D, a middle aged martial arts instructor with octagon experience. And I get lots less abuse, I promise you.
Wow a deep topic for discussion !
Thats what I love about this group.
Not sure why anyone would pose as a woman, just to get people to talk to them. But remember since the internet was started, now everyone can say what is on their minds. Everyone has a voice, and everyone has an opinion about things. Maybe boredom has changed that. Tired of giving their male perspective and want to be heard in a different light.
For me personally I dont understand why I would want to be someone else. I already have a hard enough time being myself ! Hell just understanding people from my perspective. Trying to be someone else would just make life harder. Or could they really be bored with their lives and want to try something different. Maybe its a fantasy, I cant imagine everyone being alone in a room with nothing else to do. Yes I admit I am not a computer person. And I get very bored with computers after a while, but then thats never been my forte.
Coming from the blue-collar perspective, at least. The work doesnt get done until I do it and getting on the computer for a momentary change in my life. But being somebody else hmmm not sure !
Actions
Back to TopicsReply to TopicShare this topic
Get paid just by sending us users/traffic.
Signup takes seconds, start now!
Signup as an affiliate!