One-night stands
Ok, so this is about sex, please stop reading if you think sex and nudism are incompatible.
Guys, you like one-night stands. Don't give me your PCBS, you do.
Now I'm not saying that you don't love your relevant other, you cheat on her or you had many one-night stands. Maybe you had none, it doesn't matter. Then you dreamt of having them. My question is not whether or not you like them but whether you like them because the first time is so much better than the second or because you don't like to commit - you know, because we ladies are needy, talk too much and don't much like you to have one-night stands with other women.
So let's make a thought experiment. You are say 40 and single and often meet a very pretty and sexy woman. Maybe she is some work colleague, maybe you frequent the same gym or maybe you play bridge together. Doesn't matter. You are of course attracted to her and you sometimes have... You know, thoughts about what you would do to her if the situation arises. But you do this about almost all sexy women you know, don't you. Yes you do or, depending on your age, you used to. Yes, including with me, I know this and I don't mind, I'm used to it and I know that this is how you guys work.
And one night, the situation arises. You have a chat, than dine together, then you drive her back home and she invites you "for the proverbial last drink". And you do drink her to the last drop.
It's incredible. It always is the first time, isn't it. The kisses, the taking off of her dress, seeing that beautiful baked body the first time, touching it, kissing it... The fireworks.
The next day, she takes you to a coffee and tells you "Look. Last night was nice (you are a bit disappointed, you hoped the term would be "incredible") and I liked it so I am ready to continue to see you when you feel like it. But I don't and will never love you or consider a long term attachment. We remain free, we can have sex but let's not spoil it with sentiments, how about it?".
Of course you will say an enthusiastic yes. In all honesty, you are not more than physically infatuated with her and you are a 40 yo guy. A sexy lady offers you no-strings-attached sex, you will continue to see her until she stops you or you get married - and maybe even sometimes after getting married.
So the second time is also great. Now you know what's in that lovely evening dress and you will be more performant, will spend more time playing with the lovely present your new sex mate is. Third time is also nice. But the law of diminishing returns is at work and the marginal value of each sex session diminishes. Such is life, it's not your fault.
My question is: after how many meet-ups will you first choose to spend the evening or the day with your previous favourite pass time (maybe watching football, maybe having a beer with the guys, maybe going fishing... and no, having sex with another woman doesn't count, I know the answer to that one) instead of having sex with this very attractive woman? Is it after the first sex session? After the third? The tenth? The fiftieth?
Be honest, I'm your mod and I know when you are lying...
Ok, I'll bite.
I'm old now, I'm not Don Juan the world renowned "swordsman" nor was I ever. I have though had one night stands and some stretched beyond one night. As I've aged my memory of the Stands has faded except for those that stretched beyond the "one and done, met her in a bar while on the road" stands.
For me to go back there had to be Some kind of connection, not love necessarily but more than her great bits, talents or do anything willingness.
Affairs end in time for different reasons but I can't imagine one ending because a football game is on or the silver salmon are running (if you were ever in Alaska you'd know).
Here's an answer to a question you may not have asked: affairs are never balanced, if he's off to the bar instead of wanting to spend the afternoon in bed with you laughing, tickling, playing that fantastic game and then snuggling its because he's already moved on. Or she has. It's a bitch.
From the meandering mind of an old coot
I dont know ?
Being married now for forty years, hmmm. Yes there are times when I have had the chance to enjoy an afternoon. Yes the first time would always be better ! That first touch that first taste. Hmmm
But the next time or the third time ? When do you start a friendship with someone that you can relax with. Laying in bed, watching and cuddling during a football game. Is not that bad ! There are things that you can do to make memories during the game. But then thats a different type of one night stands . That is more of a relationship or a friendship. Which would be a difficult thing to happen for both parties. Being in a relationship with the wife is why we got married in the first place.
I guess maybe thats why I have tried over the years to get a third person into our relationship. The chance to have those first touches or even watch as that touch happen. But Marie has never ever wanted that to happen. Even though we have had some chances over the years, with men and women. But alas, that has never been in the cards for me.
Its very hard to say the next thing. Ok here it goes ! If I had the chance to enjoy someone for a one night stand. Yes I think I would, but meeting with them again and again would be very hard to do. Would it get to the point of being relaxed around each other ? I hope so !
It's hard to say. It has been so long since I have entertained the thought or had an offer of such to consider. I think it would also depend on his feelings on the matter. Is she more than just "nice" to him? Suppose he agrees that sex with her is just "nice" and it is something to pass the time. In that case, I suspect as soon as the nice became less important than the many other extracurricular activities waiting to be experienced.
If there are unique feelings for Miss Nice, I suspect it would be quite a while. If it was casual sex as described, probably until "nice" was not the determining factor any longer.
I would also think there would be a different outcome to her being a "10" as compared to a "4". Do you feel this is fair? Probably not, but the "10 is much more sought after than the "4", as is the "10" of the men. This does not mean that the "4" is not a hell of a lot better in bed.
So how many? The answer is in the eyes of the beholder and the "nice" lady offering her bits.
Wow Flora, you're really challenging us.
It would all come down to what sort of man/ woman you are, if you're really into casual relationships then the regular "one night stand" would be normal, without any deeper connection to the other party, just sex. That's fine, nothing wrong with that...
I think if you're a more sensitive person where "just sex" isn't really your thing, other than the highly exceptional time when "the stars aligned" and there isn't an opportunity to continue a deeper relationship, that may be a real irregular thing for you, you then cherish the memory and more on with life.
For me, I'd fall in to category two, not really into casual relationships, prefer a deeper connection... and yes of course, first times are amazing.
Oh, and I don't think I'd ever prefer to watch the game or go fishing!
Richie x
One night stands, a little boring and unhygenic.
My hub and I both have fuck buddies. A very safe and convenient arrangement.
No embarrassment, and you are not fucking a stranger. Sometimes we double date, but this is tricky, he might not like the other lady and how do you signal that without rudeness? What other arrangements do people have to prolong sexual interest in relationships.
I haven't any one-night stands. Opportunities have all blindsided me and I am an extreme introvert as well, so I clutched (as in stick shift automobile) and didn't do anything. The opportunities passed. I fantasized about them for a long time thereafter, but, realizing if it had engaged, my world would have come apart at the seams. Maybe yours would not, but mine would. Brief ecstasy would not have been worth the troubles that would have surely followed. Now I am old enough and sufficiently unfit enough that I could not not have an affair, even a one-night stand, if I had to. But, therefore, social nudity is non-threatening. This is not a competition, no pressure, no what-ifs, just relax.
Guys, you like one-night stands. Don't give me your PCBS, you do.
Perhaps I'm an outlier... because you lost me immediately here.One night stands, a little boring and unhygenic.My hub and I both have fuck buddies. A very safe and convenient arrangement.No embarrassment, and you are not fucking a stranger...
I'm totally with Jeanne here, the benefits have never outweighed the risks in my mind, as far as one night stands go. I'll always take a consistent, dependable arrangement over stranger sex.My question is: after how many meet-ups will you first choose to spend the evening or the day with your previous favourite pass time...
My answer is, immediately, perhaps I'm just a health-nut but I've declined offers for sex from strangers countless times over hanging out with friends or some other hobby, it's just a matter of priorities, really. We're not all sex-crazed horn-dogs... just most of us, LOL.
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