I'm not going to stop being me and offering the change by example, but I don't feel the groundswell of support for our position either.
Beards are currently trending in as per https://www.dapperconfidential.com/beards-vs-clean-shaven-whats-hot/.
Like most things, if you're young and hip and push the boundaries of conventionality you have more street cred than if you're old and gray and look like you're bathroom's being remodeled. Like it or not, there's a difference between young adult and middle aged masculinity.
I think I look better now than I did then by a mile. There's also nothing wrong with grey. Bleach lightly add a touch of bluing and crop the hair tight and textured on the top and then it will speak out for something past bathroom renovations.
It's the same in each generation, young you want to be 'in the mix' doing the latest fad. As we mature our values and needs change and in the long run, does it really matter if you are 'in the mix' doing the latest thing. Most of don't keep those 'friends' for our lives, now in this age, 'friends' are fluid and are they 'friends' if digital only? We choose to be who we are for personal reasons, hopefully for yourself and not to impress others. If now it is to have a beard, then do it. It's not hurting anyone and you will get admires of that beard, and in the process have that 'adult masculinity' better yet. It is the same for any other hair on the body, individuals do it for their own pleasure mostly and it's not hurting anyone so respect their choice, you may not like it but did they ask you anyways?
It's the same in each generation, young you want to be 'in the mix' doing the latest fad. As we mature our values and needs change and in the long run, does it really matter if you are 'in the mix' doing the latest thing. Most of don't keep those 'friends' for our lives, now in this age, 'friends' are fluid and are they 'friends' if digital only? We choose to be who we are for personal reasons, hopefully for yourself and not to impress others. If now it is to have a beard, then do it. It's not hurting anyone and you will get admires of that beard, and in the process have that 'adult masculinity' better yet. It is the same for any other hair on the body, individuals do it for their own pleasure mostly and it's not hurting anyone so respect their choice, you may not like it but did they ask you anyways?
It's important to note that not all the young guys do this routine, and sometimes, much older men are still caught up in this too, but you're right in general that the idea of faddish trends and being on top of the latest looks isn't something most of us carry forward for too long. One of the hardest things to do though is choosing to be yourself. So much of who a person is, is defined by others these days. And I think wanting to make other people happy is ok (so long as we're not choosing to do so at our own expense) ...impressing , I agree, a sign of personal weakness or lack of self esteem. I think to your last point its important to remember there is someone for everyone in terms of recognizing taste and style we would choose ourselves, and many someones for every interest. And you can't please everyone nor should you try. You definitely are right about shaming or rejecting people for their appearance, it's not cool. I try to offer positive praise always.
Certainly, exposing female body parts are so much celebrated while you're looked down at when the same happens with Men, this is sheer prejudices.
Having social orders and decorum is all on the shoulders of how men should behave or dress or expose.
It's my thought, peoples Gender should only matter in Bathrooms & Bedrooms.
Everywhere else it shouldn't be of any significance, be it the clothed or nudists lifestyles.
This is pretty much how it is in Spain, Germany and France especially in nudist culture there, but we got all this puritan and calvinist shame culture stuffed on top of us in NA and that causes it to make way more difference than it should, to the detriment of all, I might add.
I think it is complicated to use the term "feminize" to describe a beardless face. A beardless face is just that, regardless of gender. The act of removing the facial hair has a verb to be used, there is no need to incorporate gender issues. First, the absence of hair does not make someone less of a male, second, said like it was here, it seems like the feminine is detrimental. I know several men that don't grow beard, and within some ethnic groups it is actually the norm. They are no less of a male than any of us bearded guys. Likewise, a woman that does not remove her body hair is no less of a woman, she is not "masculinized". If it is the natural state of the body, the only issue that can be possibly raised is that of doing something to act upon the natural (which can and sometimes must be done). I love my beard and body hair and I would say to anyone to be natural, maybe only with some trimming, but the question is about being the natural you, not of perceived notions of masculinity nor feminity; it is ironical that facial hair defining masculinity is a societal notion, as naturally there are men without beard and bearded women (I know some and it is quite common within a region of Brazil), but the discussion went on about countering those imposed notions. I understand that we may not have the intention to pass on this kind of thinking, but often, at the same time that we want to go against societal norms, we can fall prey to them, because we were raised within that society. Other than that, I agree, lets just be us, encoraging others as well, but never coming to the point of being impositive ourselves!
Naked hugs
I think it is complicated to use the term "feminize" to describe a beardless face. A beardless face is just that, regardless of gender. The act of removing the facial hair has a verb to be used, there is no need to incorporate gender issues. First, the absence of hair does not make someone less of a male, second, said like it was here, it seems like the feminine is detrimental. I know several men that don't grow beard, and within some ethnic groups it is actually the norm. They are no less of a male than any of us bearded guys. Likewise, a woman that does not remove her body hair is no less of a woman, she is not "masculinized". If it is the natural state of the body, the only issue that can be possibly raised is that of doing something to act upon the natural (which can and sometimes must be done). I love my beard and body hair and I would say to anyone to be natural, maybe only with some trimming, but the question is about being the natural you, not of perceived notions of masculinity nor feminity; it is ironical that facial hair defining masculinity is a societal notion, as naturally there are men without beard and bearded women (I know some and it is quite common within a region of Brazil), but the discussion went on about countering those imposed notions. I understand that we may not have the intention to pass on this kind of thinking, but often, at the same time that we want to go against societal norms, we can fall prey to them, because we were raised within that society. Other than that, I agree, lets just be us, encoraging others as well, but never coming to the point of being impositive ourselves!Naked hugs
But it's not incorrect. What's important is that choosing to shave as a personal choice isn't feminization, or less than or negative, but that the social pressure to shave it off or to tame it, that standard comes directly from an oppressive set of values that interlink with misogyny and the domination of males over others always carries an element of feminization or the equating of a man with a woman in that particular way. A woman cannot be masculinized in the same way in this framework because she is already seen as less powerful, and therefore to be masculinized is to empower. Coco Chanel started dressing rich women in suits for a reason, and this was it. You are correct, men without facial hair and women with facial hair exist and always have. So for some men, who choose to wear a full beard or not cut their hair, the social direction to do so is, and has been emasculating and feminizing. This kind of feminization is negative applied to any gender because it codes that person as "less than", and it is best understood this way, not as "made into a woman". Making women wear heels and corsets and go through long expensive beauty regimens is a feminization at the same level, about controlling, disempowering, and restricting, none of which has to do with being a woman. Does that make more sense?
In the natural world animals signal power, dominance and intentions in both obvious and subtle displays and behaviors, and humans are no different. Whereas I don't disagree with a lot of discussions about sexual orientation and gender roles, I tend to see them as new ways of conquering and dividing people so you can control and monetize them in silos. Beards and finger nails might feel like a display of authenticity to embrace, but when the beards vs. the claws vs. the cheek smoothies start discriminating, judging and sneering at one another, then they've been disempowered and conquered into "get with the program" of mind control and manipulation. That's why the draw of social nudity remains so strong and altruist for me, whether it's intentional (like a non-discriminatory resort) or just the practice (like YMCA pools in the 60's or Korean spas today).
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