Today at the rec center...
... I had a brief conversation with another patron in the locker room. He said he hadn't been there in a while and was wondering if something had changed since his last visit. He mentioned all the towel dancers that had no obvious reason for doing so, and wondered if perhaps there had been a rule change. I'm sure he asked me about it because I walked from the shower to my locker with my towel on my shoulder. I said there hadn't been any rule changes, and when he commented about the towel guys I proposed that they might be watching too much tv , implying fear of strangers or whatnot.
It's not just us noticing the absurdity in the locker rooms these days.
Today at my gym locker room another unashamed naked senior commented on a young guy struggling to get on his boxer shorts underneath the towel that he still had wrapped around his waste. He was too self conscious to turn to the wall, drop the towel and put on his shorts. I guess he didn't want to expose his naked butt. Good grief!
Was this at the Y or a commercial gym? Just curious of the setup. When Ive been to the Y especially downtown nudity doesnt seem to be an issue.... I had a brief conversation with another patron in the locker room. He said he hadn't been there in a while and was wondering if something had changed since his last visit. He mentioned all the towel dancers that had no obvious reason for doing so, and wondered if perhaps there had been a rule change. I'm sure he asked me about it because I walked from the shower to my locker with my towel on my shoulder. I said there hadn't been any rule changes, and when he commented about the towel guys I proposed that they might be watching too much tv , implying fear of strangers or whatnot.It's not just us noticing the absurdity in the locker rooms these days.
Its so sad that there are men who are afraid to be seen naked by other men. I have a small penis but I embrace it and I hope by being condidently naked, I can emcourage other men to do so as well. Our bodies are beautiful, not shameful.
Its so sad that there are men who are afraid to be seen naked by other men. I have a small penis but I embrace it and I hope by being condidently naked, I can emcourage other men to do so as well. Our bodies are beautiful, not shameful.
Unfortunately that's not the message that young adults are getting for a whole bunch of reasons outside of their control (which I have gone through in the forums), and I can pretty much guarantee that the locker room isn't ever going to be the place that they're gonna be open and ready to recieve it, because, well, if they were, it would be inspiring not terrifying them. The thing about irrational fear (which in a very small percentage is rational fear due to lived experience, mentioning it because I don't want to blanket statement over reality) is that it looks silly and makes no sense from the outside looking in, from the point of view of someone casually observing but it doesn't feel that way at all to the person experiencing it. For them, it's real, immediate and visceral, like a small herbivore feels when encircled by a pack of lions... (which is just to say the irrational fear is one where the perceived threat and worried about worst outcomes are significantly over emphasized to an order or several orders of magnitude greater than even the worst possible real world scenario). And the only way to help someone who has this kind of fear is to give them space, not antagonize them, and, when appropriate and when asked (this is really key) offer constructive support that acknowledges the fear, how awful it must be and sympathizes while asking if they would be happier without that level of fear... and if affirmative on teh desire to be less afraid and also asked about how to make that better, you then can, carefully suggest small first steps they can do on their own that might help, and leaving it there unless prompted for more (usually nothing to do with being nude). When your whole self preservation routine is about *not being nude in public* for any reason,anyone suggesting that you should is going to be assessed s a threat to that self preservation routine and therefore untrustworthy or dangerous (at very best good advice will be ignored or unabsorbed).
Rather, (and what helped me when I suffered from this same thing) albeit younger and not this way or this intensely as described. was advice on how to set up and plan ahead so I wouldn't have to be in these (to me anyway) "crisis" situations...which was as simple as wear the swim suit under the jeans on the way to swimming, and strip em off in a toilet cubicle and put on the underwear on the second peg under the towel on the way in to the pool, to be grabbed on the way out of the shower and to a cubicle...easy peasy. ..given that my racing speedo was smaller than the undies I wore and I wasn't nervous about being in underwear, any fear of the towel falling off kinda went out the window immediately. And just being able to walk in, get changed, go to swim class and back out and home without any fear or panic was so much of a change that after a ferw weeks, I stopped wearing my trunks underneath jeans (cause its not comfy at all) and started changing at my locker like everyone else and changed back with brief nude periods in between withut any worry, fear or concern because it was the logical easy step to less inconvenience and more comfort in the routine, and I remember thinking man, this is ...easy, lol... but that wasn't possible until I had a full experience of going in to swim coming out without being driven by fear... and the suggestion was when I got the bright idea to ask the expert resident swimming guru.... I asked my swim coach about it and he had the answer of course lined up fast without any hint of it being a weird question, with the reassurance that I wasnt the first and not the last and pretty much every swimmer had been there at some point or other... and his suggestion was such a seemingly minor change to me that I was sure it was going to be a waste of time...lol. Like, how could that help?
I wonder how much is due to the easy availability of pornography. I would expect it to make people more comfortable with nudity since many of them send sexy pics to each other. I get all kinds of questions from young men about normal penis size, women self conscious about the coloring or size of their labia, or even males and females who are self conscious about the appearance of their anus. They seem to be comparing themselves to porn models. Of course no one looks good compared to an air brushed and surgically enhanced porn model.
And carefully selected.Of course no one looks good compared to an air brushed and surgically enhanced porn model.
You have 10,000 pieces of fruit on the trees in your orchard and select five that seem closest to perfection. And then you paint those.
Yeah, no one looks good by comparison.
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