My GF enjoys sex with women on occasion. She has been with three good friends since we have been together (10 years). The rule is that I have to be there. She can't go behind my back or do it without my consent. It has worked great for a decade. She gets her girl fun and I get to watch.
Like I have read on here from many posts, its what works for your situation. I am Bi and my wife is straight. We are in a poly relationship in which she has a BF and I have BFs. we have been married 16 long years and together over 20. We are still VERY much in love with each other and our private life is still flourishing. But we talked about it and understand what we are doing. There is nothing secretive about it. We both know the passcodes to each others phones and could read messages at any time.
But again this is something that works for us and does not work for all. Its about open discussion and not hiding anything. and at the end of the day if it is not working then you need to make decisions on what is best to move forward. That being said I do not think that Bi-Sexuality means much these days. More the 50% of engage in Bi-Sexual acts at some point and as long as the relationship is ok then go for it. As for Bi-Sexuality in nudism, again I do not think plays a factor. Being a nudist is not a sexual thing. So trying to bring Bi-Sexuality in would be like saying that all men want to have sex with all women simply because they are naked.
I think people need to leave Sexual identity out of being a nudist as it should not have any bearing on who you hang with nude.
For me, I have ours as male is straight and female is bi curious. We don't hide any of that from each other. My husband is very vocal about no other men but knows that I really like women. We have talked a lot about inviting another woman and both love the thought.
This thread has spun out in so many directions. There are two aspects of being human which drive us: we are sexual and we form relationships. Sometimes those fit into neat boxes. In real life things are more complex and labels falter. When does attraction become sexual? When does body care and sensuality (such as massage) become sexual? When does a sexual relationship become mundane or transactional? How can we honor our sexuality which is likely dynamic and evolving and maintain relationships? It all takes work, commitment and communication.
There was an interview maybe twenty years ago on "Fresh Air" where the guest was a Roman Catholic priest who came out as gay, and was being asked to leave the priesthood. He maintained that while he identified with being gay, he was also absolutely committed to his vow of celibacy. He argued that because of that vow, it shouldn't make any difference whether he was gay or straight.
I think it's the same dynamic happening here. Two people of different genders may be in a stable relationship, although one of them identifies as bisexual, even if that person didn't actually engage in sexual relations with their own sex. Just because you find that a person of your sex triggers sexual excitement doesn't mean that you're going to act out on it. It's simply an acknowledgement of a part of their personality.
I imagine it varies greatly. I think I always knew I was curious. My husband denied any attraction to men. He set up a weeks vacation with another couple with the intent of swapping or at least the other wife and me playing. The week was fun and several days in my husband had the other guys cock in his mouth. After we got back we both claimed we had enjoyed our experiment but would return to monogamy.
If he had been performing cunnilingus, rimming a male or female anus, or any other sexual activity, I would suspect the outside activity loosenening the aura around the marriage has an effect Once that happens, when there is a disagreement, tension, or a full opportunity to cheat sexually, the loss of a boundary may make it easier.
Interesting thread. I went all in for the concept of marriage for life, only to have my wife inform me that her friends told her I wasn't what she had signed up for. She become "unfaithful" by losing faith in me and redefining marriage as a "for better or even better" proposition. Neither of wavered sexually, though mental health was another issue.
There's an inherent tension between your spouse's growth, your growth as a couple and your independent growth. Honoring sexuality is one small part of it. I've seen a lot of couples grow apart over financial and status differences. Perhaps the difference in getting out there and licking others' genitals, cars, travel or real estate is negligible if you're on different paths.
Therefore, I give little credence to orientation labels and think that defining "life phase partner" leads to better outcomes, at least when parenting is not part of the equation.
CodeBare wrote:FWIW, not anymore. You need to have it have been 3 months since your last sexual encounter with another man.
When I last donated, the question was "Have you had sex with a male at any time?" without the qualifier. But If I had said yes, then the following question might have had that qualifier. I'll ask next time I donate. (But, as I said earlier, I've never had the attraction to men that I've had to women.)
As for people's comment on how "life partner" should be recast as "life phase partner," I'm reminded of a quote which I think might have been by Oscar Wilde: "A man marries a woman thinking she'll never change, but of course she does. A woman marries a man thinking she can change him, and of course she never can."
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