Thoughts and musings about having a nudist wife
Over the years I've gotten quite a bit of feedback from other males about my wife being a nudist with me (both times). The most common reaction is surprise and curiosity: "Your wife is completely naked around other people? Men too? How!?" It doesn't come from a "bad" place; it is just that they wonder "how that actually happens" and end up thinking that she's actually a really cool person. Some even bemoan that their wife would "never do that."
Then some of the responses have been much more cynical. For example they figure:
1 - I'm only using my wife as a "prop" to gain access to nudist venues where at can ogle at other naked women.
2 - I'm getting some kind of thrill at seeing other men looking at my naked wife.
3 - She's only doing it because I've manipulated her into getting naked against her will.
These latter assumptions are actually insulting to my wife because they assume that my wife is either too dumb or to servile to see through any "hidden agenda" I might have.
If I address these assumptions 1 by 1:
1 - I bring my wife to the resort with me because she's my partner. And I'd rather do something I enjoy with her than without. I certainly appreciate other women being there; but my wife gets to have my full attention.
2 - I'm proud of my wife for embracing social nudity and choosing to spend her time at the resort naked. If some people "enjoy the view", that is ok with me - and her - as long as it's not disrespectful. But mostly we don't pay attention to it.
3 - Her choice to socialize nude was entirely her own. She always had the option of going C/O; but she chose herself without any pressure on my part to stay naked. She has even planned nudist trips herself with the firm intent of being naked there.
In short, I may have "led her to the water" (with her consent), but her choice to "drink" was entirely her own. My wife decided to become a social nudist because it was something she found meaningful and enjoyable for her.
Anyway, it's just a thought.
Forget about the cynical responses. They just show the place that the responders are coming from, not from where they're authentically curious about your wife. In fact, neither you nor she should dignify their assertations with a response.
People are free to make their own assumptions. They are not free to expect you or your wife to validate them.
I applaud your wife for being so open to naturism and setting a good example for other women who may want to explore the lifestyle but who are unsure of what their reception will be. She can let them know that the cynics will be cynics, but not to pay them any mind or give any credence to their assumptions.
I have never discussed nudism with colleagues at work. So I've never heard their opionion about my wife being seen nude by others. I think i would hear the same arguments from some of them. My wife spoke about our nudist activities with her and our friends. I think she was never seen as a nudist wife but a nudist woman.
I don't think the idea of using your wife as a "prop" to gain access to nudist venues is cynical. In fact, in many Midwestern US nudist venues it's the only way men can get in. Regardless of your motives, whether you wish to ogle at other naked women or not, or your wife's motives, that she wants to oogle at naked dudes or not, the venues are set up to perpetuate the cynical thinking you're rightfully arguing against.
I don't think the idea of using your wife as a "prop" to gain access to nudist venues is cynical.
In my experience, bringing a wife strictly for the purposes of inclusion has a way of often backfiring; especially if the wife "feels" her status has been reduced to "entry ticket." It often takes the form of the husband "pressuring" the wife to accompany/get naked; or alternatively being "inattentive" to the wife's feelings about being in that setting.
But your point is also valid. The first time I joined a non-landed club, I went as an "unaccompanied married male" with my wife's consent. I was welcomed; but the questions about my "invisible wife" inevitably pressured me to try to bring her. There certainly was tension around it between us; but she eventually (reluctantly) agreed to accompany me. I did my very best to not make her feel like a "prop" though; not putting any pressure on her to disrobe and remaining attentive to her disposition. Luckily, on our second or third trip, she connected with some of the attendees and - with no pressure applied - got comfortable enough to disrobe and interact naked with everyone else.
Given nudist community culture, it can be a pickle. Many of us married nudist folks have had to do a "balancing act" of involving our wives - for inclusion - whilst not making her feel like a "prop."
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