Interesting. I'm 55 and I basically say clearly on my profile that I am not interested in connecting with younger guys, I literally welcome guys from 40ish to 100 (more power to them if they're here on TN at that age!). There are reasons, though. The first obvious one (I hate hypocrisy) is that I find the mature male attractive, not the young ones. Second, I teach college. I love being with college-age students but in a completely different, professional relationship. And when I am on my time, I'd rather spend my time with mature males. That said, I'm not an asshole about it. Just my preference.
I wouldn't go as far as saying I won't interact or make friends with anyone of any race, creed, colour, orientation, nationality, whatever. In terms of age, I have friends ranging from around 20 up to their 60s. But generally I find I will have most in common with those closer to my age, and the age profile of my friends reflects that. The ones further away from my age are all ones I've met, had a connection with (hobby, interest, or even just mutual friends meaning we spend more time together than we otherwise might) and so gotten to know them better. I'm happy to be friends with anyone, but there has to be an actual reason, not just "friends" for the sake of adding to a friends list.
In terms of friend requests on here, I refuse pretty much all of them, unless they are people I have a connection with (ongoing conversations, mutual interests, etc). Random requests get deleted, it will be of little surprise that most of them come from older men with blank profiles. I have no interest in collecting "friends", even if some people seem to think that to have a conversation they first need to add me as a friend. Messaging works fine without a friend request!
I tend not to discriminate against anyone.... apart from idiots.
My wife had someone make a button for me to wear at times, Does not work or play well with idiots.
I have knots of pre-conceived notions about others. Some (many) are wrong, but some are right. Its human nature, and the fun part of life is experiencing which are which.
I see all those isms - from agism to sexism and racism - as a "divide and conquer" technique. It's one of the oldest tricks in the book to get people to hate each other so you can in turn do enough to be consider an "us not them" and get your way. In the meantime, we're all losers and it's the ones off of our radar screen who eat our lunch.
It's natural for birds of feather to flock together, but we're in the same boat and need to say no to those who push the isms to judge one another. The more I do that, the more I see how fear is driving many and courage means being willing to be vulnerable and not have all the answers. So we need to listen to one another. In terms of this website and accepting friend requests, I believe this means to:
-say why you sent an FR
-reply with a question when you get a blank FR
-encourage people to put themselves out there with a profile, pix and certification, a basis for mutual interest
-not judge based on things like age, orientation and geography
-try to be in dialogue with different people to learn and grow
At age 57, I see how my peers' minds are closing as their arrogance is growing. We settle in our comfort zones and make less effort to stay relevant or healthy, learning and growing. We use cultural milestones from decades ago to evaluate and discern because criteria today are confusing to us. I often feel sad to see people giving up vitality for walled in comfort and security. At the same time, I see some my age and older with as much vitality as most millennials, and then there are those millennials with all the answers who could be described as young farts.
Of course agism can go both ways, and like most isms is fundamentally an expression of fear. And to those younger than me who don't speak my language and may express a lot confusion and anger to me, a stand in for their fathers' or grandfathers' generation, please accept my apology. I'm sorry about your college debt and inability to buy into what used to be a middle class existence with a home you could move furniture into and car you just needed to put gas into. I apologize for not accepting or understanding the new paradigms you are creating with the tools you have, whether defined by technology, sexuality or a new career option reality. You are pioneers in a new wilderness and I'm very very sorry if we are the ones shooting arrows in your back while you're dodging arrows from the future front. We need you, just like previous generations needed us, and in many ways we have failed you in our own selfishness. At times I'm amazed that you're not more bitter to us after all that's happened or not happened. And if you wish to dismiss me as an old curmudgeon, please do so. I will smile and bless you, remembering how I was your age once and knowing you will become like me, as it always was, and it's all hopefully good.
How does one get personally offended by anothers choice of who they like to socialize with? Right, wrong or indifferent, if someone doesnt want to talk to me because Im old, male, white or whatever, so what. Its not a requirement for people to befriend me because I asked them to. Not trying to be disrespectful or anything, just curious.
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