Not sure where this goes so I'll drop it here. First impressions of a newbie Single Male.

Hi All,

This has turned into a longish post so my apologies.

This post was written initially in response to a post in Frequently Asked Questions. Topic heading - True Singles.
It was meant to address the 'Single Male' issue, but now it kind of crosses over and addresses a few other points as well.
I hope what I have written comes over in a reasonable and articulate way. However I could just come across as a twat, I hope that's not the case.

Remember, when reading through, these are my first impressions after being here for just over a month. I can't remember when I joined.

I am a single male, new to TN and to being nude around others, having been a home nudist for many years.
Joining TN has been a huge step forward for me as I embark upon gaining friends and a social circle of local nudists where we are all fully capable of having intelligent conversations (about some things anyway), and respecting others.

As a newbie to being nude around others I have the same issues to deal with as nearly all first timers, including the mental and psychological barriers that have been built up over the years by society and its views (and confusions) around nudity and sex being one and the same. After all, most of the time we are naked for sex, for bathing / showering, for getting dressed or changed and as far as society goes thats it. Huge psychological barriers are created around something so natural.
I won't list the issues here as there are many threads that deal with those, along with advice I have found helpful. Plus one or two posts, stating old fashioned and quite frankly, unhelpful views. But freedom of speech is a wonderful thing.

I would like to think that others around me wouldn't judge anyone new to social nudism and would either ignore certain situations (if and when they arise) or be helpful and take the person to one side and offer constructive advice. That way, hopefully everyone is respectful and considerate to each other.
Sadly reading through these forums, there are established members who take a less tolerant view of us newbies. Possibly forgetting how difficult, self-conscious, or (for guys) not as in control of their parts when they took their first steps into nudism.

Now as a single male entering into social nudism I DO feel a sense of added pressure to prove to most nudists that I'm a normal run of the mill guy.
What do you do in your daily lives when interacting with people; you talk with them or engage with them in social activities. It's by engaging with people and listening to your gut instinct that you find out if I or other people you interact with are time wasting, fake, whatever you want to call it...... the best way to find out tho? .... Talk with me, or them. You'll soon find out about that person and if you want to carry on the conversation. No one should need to prove anything to anyone.
I know some people won't like me, or want to interact with me just the same as I won't like others or won't to talk with others and that's perfectly fine. Life takes all sorts of people to make it interesting and just because we're all part of a lifestyle choice doesn't mean we will all get on. :-)

Lately on TN, I feel I am constantly being tested. When I'm in the chat room I have had several pvt chat requests mostly from men, but also a few from couples. My first thought was great, people want to chat....... Yes they do, to being with. Then the conversation turns to 'Your pics don't show your bits, show us your bits' and then into sex talk.

Where is the respect from those people? If you want to see naked full frontal pics either ASK or be upfront why you want to see them, or find a porn site. Just because we are all on TN, doesn't give you the right to see my bits n bobs if I don't want to show you.

Many times I see posts; some from the same people who messaged me, talking about nudism is a way of life and not about what bits n bobs each of us have, or even about sex. There is a lot of hypocrisy on here. So for those of you in glass houses... don't throw stones ;-)
So please don't just brand single males as disrespectful.

In the short time I have been on here, I have paid for a lifetime membership.
My reasoning is that it was cheaper to do than to pay quarterly or yearly, and I'm serious about wanting to make friends and have a social life with nudism.
Also my paying for membership shows my commitment and support for this site and the people behind it and also for the community that use this site. Why pay for something if you're not going to use it.
I have also taken the steps to become certified on here, many long-time members here are not certified, but each to their own.
Again hopefully becoming certified shows my commitment to this site and the members here.
I would say that a couple of people I have tried to engage in conversation over mutual interests have snubbed me simply for not being certified. Kind of narrow minded in my opinion, but again each to their own and I respect their choice. Much as I would ask someone to respect my choice not to engage in dialogue over football or religion.

Having said all the above since being here I have spoken to many wonderful people from all over the world. Had some fascinating conversations about culture, history and about the person themselves and their lifestyle. I have had a few invitations to visit them at their home, and also extended the same invitation to them.

In the main chat room I have found most people fun, friendly and welcoming when I join in the conversations. To those that have taken the time to talk with me and start building the foundations of a friendship .. thank you

If you've got this far, thank you. If you gave up ... well no point writing anything on that as you won't read it lol.

This is MY view at this moment in time and some, many or most of you may not agree with it. Also remember that opinions and views may change over time.
Please feel free to respond to any part or all of my post in a respectful manner. Please DON'T attack for the sake of attacking as it's pointless. A reasoned debate is much better than a one sided slagging match.

Feel free to ask questions, or even message me if you wish. Above all be respectful.

Hugs to all.

Jay

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