Golf related tidbits!
Whether you like it or not, there are people who enjoy the sport. I was told it was very relaxing! The few times I golfed and tried to relax, I found it very difficult! I saw people get mad for the little things such as missing the ball with a swing. I saw emotionfrom bad shots with clubs hitting trees or tossed in the water! I decided I would stick to the quitness of fishing i loved and just tell a joke or two about golfing! If you have interesting comments, whether funny or not, please share with us.
I would like to start off with some golf etiquette and common rules:
1. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
2. "I wish I could play my normal game...just once."
3. "Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls."
4. If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
5. Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
6. The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."
7. A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
8. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
9. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
10. I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
11. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme Putt,"you might wish to reconsider this game.
12. Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
13. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
14. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work ..and both are expensive.
15. The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.
16. To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
17. In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers ... they shoot a "six," yell "fore" and write "five."
18. Swing easy. Hit hard.
19. If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the IRS investigates your business.
20. Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
21. Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
22. You will enjoy golf only after you're able to hit the ball far enough so that you've calmed down by the time you reach it.
Never could get excited about the prospect, but then I'm not aware of any courses where you could do it nude, if so, I might be tempted.
I have occasionally been know to watch it for a few minutes on the box, (and I do appreciate there is a lot of skill involved, just don't see why you would want to go to that much trouble (using up valuable hours of your life in the process) to learn how to do it) but now that we have the wonderful w/w/web to play with, the box only comes out if there is something really interesting to see.
One thing that I've noticed though, is that they never tell you what is going on. The commentators go on and on, assuming that everyone knows all the jargon, and never ever explain the terminology.
I've always had a vague curiosity as to what exactly is an eagle, birdie ect, and now after reading this post I realise, that there isa bunchmore jargon to learn, that I am not even aware of.
So, can any of you golfers out there, enlighten us heathens on some of it, not that I'm really interested. but it would be nice to know some of them :)
First ... great starting post! I can also relate to some of those
funny lines but I happen to love the game and after playing for
over 50 years, I was able to adjust my attitude a long, long time
ago so I could truly enjoy playing.
Next; for the poster that asked what these are, you'll have to
understand that the course sets the number of strokes it SHOULD
take you to put that little white ball in the cup with the long
flag pole stuck in the middle. For sake of easy explanation; if the
hole you are playing is a Par 5 ...
5 strokes = Par
4 strokes = Birdie
3 strokes = Eagle
2 strokes = Albatross
1 stroke = Hole in 1
6 strokes = Boogie
7 strokes = Double Boogie
8 strokes = Triple Boogie
Any more than that ..., pick up your ball and go to the next hole,
practice more at the range and putting greens... or ... take
up tennis! hahaha ;-)
As far as a naked golf course ... the only true naked golf course I'm aware of is at La Jenny Naturist Resort in France. They actually have a practice driving range there as well. It's on our bucket list. There is a small pitch and putt at Cypress Cove and yes, there are no real greens, but a white circle around the flag stick. Get your ball in the circle and you move on to the next hole. Fun to play nude but not really satisfying to the golfer in the nudist! :D
Know the difference betweena biker and a golfer? You only need one ball to play golf.
By one ball, I assume that you mean, one ball at a time. I have used as many as four balls on a single hole. Did I mention that I am not very good at the game?
Turtle Lake Resort, near Battle Creek, Michigan, USA, is a
really nice nudist venue with a 9 hole golf course on the property.
It looks like par 3 course where you can actually swing
away... but there is no difference between the fairway and the
rough, so even an orange ball can disappear if you don't pay close
attention where it's going. The greens are cut a little
shorter and have a real hole and a flag. In spite if it's
short comings, it's still a fun course for a naked amateur.
:-) ... They also have a very good frisbee golf course.
(at least I think it's here...) The -hole- has a pole with
hanging chains to catch the disk and drop it into a basket, so,
it's easier to see and hit, than just a mark on the ground.
P.S.22. You will enjoy golf only after you'reable to hit the ball far enough so that you've calmed down by thetime you reach it.
I often hit the ball far enough... but, I have to find it first,
before I can calm down. ;-)
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