My spouse does have issues being nude. She has several reasons that she tells me. I understand what she tells me. Early in our marriage I would ask her to come along to the resort. She would politely decline and say she was fine with me going. That did not stop me from asking. Until she seemed more than annoyed that I asked again.
During that time my time at the club slowly increased. From one day trips to week end trips and then to three day trips when the weekend includes a holiday. She was never so upset where I was going but how much time I was spending there. In my defense, I explained that I only got three trips a year and I wanted to make the best use of my three visits. This did not go over very well. Things did not get bad until I was invited to a private party for New Years Eve. That was the straw that started some serious discussions. She was not happy with me. What did come out of it though is that I did value my nude time. More importantly, I had friends there that I valued as well.
We are just in the first steps. She wants to spend our time together. I support her interests so she is having a run at supporting mine. She wants to get to know the friends that I have made. I have talked about them every time I have returned. She has gone to one private outing with me to some private land that one of my friends own. That went well and we stayed the weekend. Now, we are going to the club this weekend. I prey that all goes well there too. I have been wanting her join me on my trips for a long time. I am not expecting her to raise to the desire for nudity that I have. The steps that she is taking to be part of that part of my life means a lot to me. I am not sure I can thank her enough.
Response to post above (without quoting the entire post).
You have the right attitude. Too many times guys want it all, from a wife or significant other that is only willing to give a little. Take what she'll give and then let her decide how much she wants to participate. Once she experiences social nudism at private parties and the clubs or resorts, she'll see that some nudists are people you'd be close friends with in the textile world.
We met our circle of nudist friends at a resort and they are our closest friends. The clubs and resorts are where my wife enjoys meeting other people. Sometimes it only takes a couple hours to figure out whether or not you're going to mesh and sometimes it takes a weekend or longer. Sometimes it takes more than one trip and hopefully your wife will be willing to visit the club more than once and give it and real shot.
One of the great things about a club is that you can take a break from the party atmosphere, usually around the pool, and sit back and just watch what goes on. My wife's first visit to our club, we sat at the RV site most of the time and visited the pool deck later in the day when most of the partiers had gone to their RV's, rental units, homes and took naps or got ready for dinner. It took my wife 3 trips to the club before she said, "yes, I think we should join." At this time, we'd only been visiting the nude beach. It worked out. She enjoys social nudism but on her terms and I can't ask for anymore than that.
Continued good luck!
Since my last post quite a bit has happened. We've visited two other resorts after Sunny Haven: TLR and LOTW. My wife has been socially nude at all 3 resorts.
Yet...she still wavers a bit in terms of "where" she is naked. She has no problem swimming or tanning nude in the pool area (which is in and of itself laudable); but she still tends to cover up when going to the shower/bathroom or hanging out outside that area. She is not "there yet" in terms of walking around naked in front of other people.
Getting your S/O to the resort is one thing; but getting her to find her "naked confidence" is something she has to find on her own. I've had a casual chat about it with my wife - not pushing her to stay naked - but rather finding out what her "blockage" was. And she gave me two reasons: we keep going to different resorts so she never knows what to expect - and so she tends to be "guarded". The second reason was "lack of consistency." She is never socially nude - in a sustained way - outside of those few trips a year; so she is just not that used yet to being seen naked by many people.
But...she is open to the idea of trying to just stay nude; even to go for walks outside the pool area. For that reason we agreed to stop "exploring" resorts and settle on one: LOTW; because she likes the lake there and the activities it supports (paddle boarding and canoeing.) And increasing the time we spend naked at home. We agreed on a simple goal for next summer: an entire day spent nude with no covering. All we have to do now is work on it consistently until then.
Thinking back to my first wife; it actually took quite a bit for her to find her "naked confidence": consistent home-nudism, making nudist friends who encouraged her, and hanging with the same group of people at the same resort/club. It was a slow road paved with misgivings, sarongs and hesitations; but then one day it just "clicked" for her and her self-consciousness just vanished completely. She then got in the habit of riding out to the resort in just a sarong; tossing the sarong before we even parked, and then just walking to check-in and to the pool area already naked; no hesitations, just enthusiasm at the prospect of being naked all day and hanging out with friends.
So I know from experience "naked confidence" is not always something that happens "on the spot". Sometimes, beyond that first or second...or third nudist resort trip, it takes work to get there.
My goes with me to clubs but she stays dressed but the last two visit she has been geting more comfortable around people and is down to just wearing a bathing suite cover up . The club we go to we do on week days so there is not alot of people and the other people are very frendly to her
My wife was reluctant at first because she has body issues with being over weight. After going to a few places she quickly realized that everyone wasn't "super models" but normal every day people, that helped out a lot. As the years go by she's comfortable nude at our property/house which is very secluded, CO beaches and at our resort. Being seen naked by others isn't an issue when she knows there nudists but when she knows their textiles its a no go. It doesn't bother me but being a woman they often act differently when seeing people nude for the first time.
FYI Nudist Christians: If your partner, in this case my wife of 30+ years, is a Christian I suggest you find literal translation of the Gospels from the original source/language. She found very quickly that the Bible has been way slanted towards clothes, mostly to make Queen Victoria rich. Also if you look at history Jesus was naked a lot. All fishermen fished nude, as well as gardeners and carpenters. You can even find art work with Jesus naked a lot (pre-Victorian Age) if you are willing to look. Even Michelangelo has a few naked Jesus sculptures and paintings. Its only capitalism and greed that created this shame of being naked. Lastly have them read, Christian Body by Aaron Frost. After my wife saw all this she just shift gear from fear and shame to happiness and faith. In fact she now hogs the mike on Nude Karaoke Night at HCN events and even won first prize at the HCN Halloween Nude Costume Contest. She even tells people that naturists are by far the kindest, nicest, most non-judgmental people on the planet. Just calmly give them the information and dont argue... it took me over a year for her faith to change. Remember Jesus would be patient... WWJD? But when they buy in they will be true believers in Christian Naturism.
Stay Naked & Be Happy,
Ronny
Yet...she still wavers a bit in terms of "where" she is naked. She has no problem swimming or tanning nude in the pool area (which is in and of itself laudable); but she still tends to cover up when going to the shower/bathroom or hanging out outside that area. She is not "there yet" in terms of walking around naked in front of other people.
Since my last post...that just changed.
In spite of Covid, we finally made it out to the resort last week end. We checked in - masks on - and returned to the car to "change." I got naked; she put on a new cover-up she just bought; which actually doesn't "cover up" much at all. We picked a spot by the lake (which is now "officially" OUR spot); and she took off her cover-up.
And that was the last I saw of it.
This was her first time staying completely nude the entire day (about 6 hours to be exact). Throughout the day, from walking around the entire resort, to paddle-boarding on the lake, hanging out in the pool area, etc...,; she displayed a "naked confidence" I had never seen in her before. She clearly had no inclination to "hide" from other people as she did in the past. At one point she was standing naked on the pier, exchanging a few words with some nudists who were boating on the lake; and it was clear she had no misgivings about being seen openly standing there completely naked. That would have never happened before last Sunday.
The conclusion here is the point I was making in my last post. My wife had to go through her own "process" to get to that point. Expecting a non-nudist spouse to get there "instantaneously" is oftentimes just unrealistic. But that doesn't mean they can't get there.
It takes patience, understanding, compromise, finding the "right" venue. And repetition. The first nudist resort/beach trip may not lead to any nudity at all. It might be brief. And that's ok; if it leaves him/her with a positive impression: it's a win. Just try to make a follow-up trip even better; using the knowledge you've gained from the first one. And keep going from there.
What happened with my wife was not "miraculous." This was her fourth nudist resort trip; she knew the resort and what to expect. She had already been nude there; even if only to sunbathe away from the crowd. So finding her "naked confidence" simply came as a result of "comfort with her surroundings." She realized she would be "totally fine" if she opted to not cover up every time she got up. And once she got acclimated to getting around the resort naked: she naturally found her "naked confidence."
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