RE:Quote of the day

The closest l ever got to a 4.0 in school....was my blood alcohol content.

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RE:Quote of the day

I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone....

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RE:Quote of the day

I'm having a bad day... my ex just got hit by a bus, and I just lost my job as a bus driver.

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RE:Quote of the day

Being an adult is debating whether to keep a cardboard box because you know it's a really good box.

OMG! I must be an adult.

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RE:Quote of the day

My wife says I have only two faults... I don't listen and some other shit she was rattling on about.

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I sleep better naked.... Why can't the flight attendant understand this?

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RE:Quote of the day

My wife just phoned to tell me that three women in her office have received flowers today and they are absolutely gorgeous. I said that's probably why.

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RE:Quote of the day

Did you know if you text Boss... Go fuck yourself...you don't have to go to work anymore.

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RE:Quote of the day

Did you know if you text Boss... Go fuck yourself...you don't have to go to work anymore.

It depends on who you text it to.

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RE:Quote of the day

I am not an early bird or a night owl I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.

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