What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

Hey There,

I've FINALLY decided to pursue nudism. My husband doesn't understand it, but was (was) supportive enough to not try to get in the way. Until I spent the day at a nudist resort. Nothing untoward and new knew all about it. But when I got home he was upset. He didn't think he'd feel the way he did. He said that he knows I didn't do anything wrong but he "felt" as if I was sharing an intimacy with others that had been just between us. He know's it's not logical, but it is how he feels. Showering at the gym and being naked in the locker room is different than going somewhere where the main activity is being naked with other. This is where we differ, if the argument is that I'm sharing my naked self with others it doesn't matter where that is. I mean I could easily shower at home after the gym and avoid the locker room.

So here's my question; How do I deal with this? I want to continue to explore this part of myself but I need him to be ok with it. He doesn't want to hold me back, or for me to resent him, but he's not sure he can get over it. I don't want him to feel bad nor am I willing to put my 18 year marriage on the line.

The day at the resort was actually really relaxing, almost spiritual in the peacefulness and calm. Hiking through the woods nude was something I want to do again.

What to do? What to do?
-G

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I assume the resort you went to is clothing optonal, if not find one that is and ask him Togo with you being very clear that he does it have to and you do not expect him to. Make sure you and he are clear about the rules of the resort rules such as nudity required in the pool area. Explain youd like him to go so he can get a feel for the environment and hopefully understand and if he still doesnt then you honor his wishes.

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

[...] going somewhere where the main activity is being naked [...]

The advice above is good. In a couple of forum posts recently where people have asked why there are so many threads about things other than nudism, I've commented that maybe it's because being nude in itself isn't really something that has a lot to say about it. In many cases it's just being nude while doing the same things you'd do clothed. I think that's maybe the same here. The "main activity" isn't being nude, the main activity is swimming in the pool, relaxing in the sun with a book and a cool drink, playing tennis or croquet or boules, going for a walk, socialising, chatting to friends, making new ones. You just happen to be in a place where you don't need to wear clothes while doing it. Maybe that is the case here too. As above, the suggestion that if he went and saw for himself, he might have a better understanding of that, and that you're not just going to parade around naked like a peacock, exhibit yourself and ogle others.

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I assume the resort you went to is clothing optonal, if not find one that is and ask him Togo with you being very clear that he does it have to and you do not expect him to. Make sure you and he are clear about the rules of the resort rules such as nudity required in the pool area. Explain youd like him to go so he can get a feel for the environment and hopefully understand and if he still doesnt then you honor his wishes.

That would not work for me because my wife doesn't want to see anyone nude other than me.
How does your partner feel about seeing others nude?

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

It's not me (or him) seeing others nude, it's other's seeing me. He's got a little jealous streak. He trusts me not to "do anything", and I wouldn't ever. It's weird and even he can't explain it well. He's also feeling guilty for feeling this way, it's a need he can't help with and he's feeling inadequate. He doesn't want to stop me from exploring something that's important to me, but emotionally he's hurt by it.

Thanks for all the responses!
-G

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I'm in a similar situation my Gf doesn't want anyone seeing me naked because that is "hers and hers alone" and I don't agree with that at all. It's MY body. I don't consider being naked intimate, I consider sex intimate and sex is only for her. She would go to a resort with me but she doesn't want to be naked so maybe we'll plan to go to one and she can wear a shirt or something..

This post was edited
RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I'm in a similar situation my Gf doesn't want anyone seeing me naked because that is "hers and hers alone" and I don't agree with that at all. It's MY body. I don't consider being naked intimate, I consider sex intimate and sex is only for her. She would go to a resort with me but she doesn't want to be naked so maybe we'll plan to go to one and she can wear a shirt or something..

My wife knows I "sometimes" go to a clothing optional beach and is OK with that.
She was strangely more uncomfortable when a friend of mine had a few male friends over for nude swimming in his pool.
She just doesn't want to be seen nude by anyone other than me or see anyone else nude either.

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I had a similar situation with my wife of 15 yrs. She didnt want to hold me back but after I visited a resort for an afternoon she had the same reaction. I know she feels guilty too. But I know she would be uncomfortable going to a resort herself. So at the same time, I dont want to push her too hard to go to a resort. I can see her anxiety grow just talking about it.
My thing is that the resort is the only place I feel safe nude. I like nude hiking, but dont want to be on a public trail and have an issue. And the beach is ok, but I worry about textiles snapping pics. So the resort is the only controlled environment that normal people that just want to relax nude. It will be tricky, but I agree that if you can get him to go to a resort and see how relaxed it is, it might change his mind or not. But definitely worth a try.
For me, I am nude at home in jacuzzi a lot. She joins me nude there and I cherish those moments. Oh and the random nude movie night at home.

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

There are actually many of us in this situation. My wife understands that I want to be nude, but she has already stated that I'm "hers" meaning that she doesn't want to share my body with others. That is the reason why I can't even let her know I visit this site (and especially let her know I have uploaded photos of myself here). She seems to accept my nudity around home, so I accept that as a "victory" and will see where things will go from here.
To paraphrase a quite I've heard a lot recently, "Nothing worth doing is worth trying to do too quickly. You need a crockpot solution, in a microwave society."

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RE:What's a new nudist to do if your spouse isn't a nudist and doesn't want you to be either?

I'm in a similar situation my Gf doesn't want anyone seeing me naked because that is "hers and hers alone" and I don't agree with that at all. It's MY body. I don't consider being naked intimate, I consider sex intimate and sex is only for her. She would go to a resort with me but she doesn't want to be naked so maybe we'll plan to go to one and she can wear a shirt or something..

I just posted this in another thread but it fits here too.

Most resorts will allow first-timers to stay covered (with the exception of the pool area) and many resort now are C/O. If my first (and current) wife had not had that option, they would have NEVER agreed to visiting a resort. In addition, I scheduled our first outing on a weekday to "minimize" nudist encounters. Given those concessions my wife found it difficult to keep saying "no"; as I essentially guaranteed to her that she would not have to part from her clothes.

My wife chose a loose fitting sundress for her first-time. A sarong would have been better; but a shirt or T-shirt work as well. I recommend against a "complete" outfit such as shirt and shorts; simply because it takes "more work" to get out of, should the opportunity arise.
My wife arrived at the resort with the intention of "getting it over with as soon as possible" and staying completely covered up. She didn't expect she would actually enjoy the resort. Because the only thing she was wearing was a sundress, she could unbutton it when she felt comfortable without "feeling naked." It was a small step but it paved the way for her to eventually feel comfortable enough to want to change into just a long T-shirt.

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