Non supporting spouse
My wife will not participate in nudist activities. She said she dont like nude people and and dont even like to see me nude. Have I got a snowballs chance in hell of ever converting her over to my side. I love her very much. Should I just give up on the whole nudist thing?
I am also in the same situation. When we met, she was the one who would lay around the house nude any time. She only got dressed when we had people coming over, or we were going out. It took me a while to get to where I liked sitting nude with her to watch TV. But once we had kids, especially once they started talking, my wife does not go nude near as much now, and the idea of going nude in a group is of absolutely no interest to her. We still walk around the house nude a bit when the kids are around, and much more when they are at school or asleep, but I do not expect it to be anything like we were. My wife will not go outdoors nude, or go to even clothing optional events. But on the good side she is not having a problem with me wanting to do this. Hopefully within a couple weeks I will make it to an SCNA meeting and see how well I fit in with the others around here.So, I guess my spouse is basically supporting me, just not joining in.
It can take many years. So far it has been 27 years. I have made a little progress, but there is more to be made. It takes a lot of love, compassion, all around sweetness and more patience than you think you had. Never argue about it. Just gently discuss your desires with her and that it means nothing if she is not with you. But you have to see to her needs, wants and desires first. Zig Ziglar has said, "You can get whatever you want, if you help enough people get what they want, first."-JR
Larry, my late wfe was never supportive of my being a nudist either. I found out the more I tried to convince her to try it the more determinded she was to resist it. I took my nudity to my nude buddies and their spouses in the Navy. They finally told me to quit trying to get her to be a nudist. When I stopped she quit getting pissed at me. So when the ship would pull into San Diego my buddies and some of their wives who would make the trip down from the bay area would hit Black's beach for the weekend. If she's not into it now she may never will be. Just stay nude with those friends you have and all will hopefully be fine with you.
Thanks for the good advice. I have became a member at the nudist resort that is 5 miles from my house. I go there 3 times a week and work out in the gym and use the pool. I really enjoy this and as a result being an at home nudist has lost its importance.
Make sure she's aware that having a smooth pubic area is NOT a prerequisite! It's more than enough just to have her participate and enjoy the freedom. She doesn't need to feel obligated to be "groomed" a certain way for anyone but herself!:)
I find that most guys that describe their non-nudist spoouse really have not sat them down and talked to them and debunked their myths that it's just a sexual thing. Really, sit her down in front of the computer and show her AANR and all of the resorts and beaches and women talk and how positive it is.
I find that most guys that describe their non-nudist spoouse really have not sat them down and talked to them and debunked their myths that it's just a sexual thing. Really, sit her down in front of the computer and show her AANR and all of the resorts and beaches and women talk and how positive it is.
Yeah sure, if only that bullshit worked. Most guys like myself, have already tried and there comes a time when enough is enough. One has to admit to marrying a none human.
Thismay help some of you if you can getyour partnersto read it.
It's a letter that jackieinoz sent to the "Go Natural" Magazine.
Naturism, Nudity, Nudism. Call it what you like...it put the fear of God into me. Anyone that could walk around naked, let alone socialise naked, in my eyes, could only be one thing, a pervert, and a deviate. Someone not quite right! BUT here lies the opening of not only my eye's but my mind as well. So sit back and perhaps you may enjoy reading about my ride from "Textile" to "Naturist."
Having met the love of my life, I thought life could no longer throw me the proverbial curve ball. I had all I could ever want, a man that loved me, and a man that I loved, but whoa up, that curve ball was bearing down at me at a rapid rate. It started slowly, a few hints here, an Internet site there, and the odd, "hey honey this wouldnt be so bad would it" thrown in for good measure. This old prude was less than pleased; I called him everything from an exhibitionist to the much more forceful pervert.
No way Jose was I going down the Naturist path that he was so intent on becoming a part of. However after much cajoling (and with my mind firmly decided that it just wasn't going to be a part of our lives) and a trip of 20 minutes all the way in stony silence between us, we arrived at "that" place. Sadly the initial visit was far from congenial, my man, my safety net if you like was whipped away from me, and I was serendipitously (in my mind) paraded from camp site to camp site to be introduced. I hated it...I WANTED OUT OF THERE! Some months later (God only knows why) I decided to try once again. It could not have been any different if I had of wished it.
There was no pressure, everyone was exceptionally friendly, and I was actually made to feel welcome and a part of this little community. My man and I then rented the cabin for a week of total bliss, there was no-one there just he and I and the sounds of the cows lowing in the back paddock, birds chirping gaily every morning and the scent of pure fresh air. Slowly during this period of awakening, I came to accept, and perhaps understand, the Naturist way of life. The bliss of clothes-free living, it was a true awakening for me.
We now own our own little wee cabin, and we spend many a pleasant weekend amongst real people who have become real friends. I'm still not quite "there", but I am making head roads, and we now have a wonderful, active social life. Thank you to my man and to those that have taught me that it really is a natural way of life.
And just as an aside. I was sooooo very aware of every flaw of my body, from the cellulite to the stretch marks to the scars from numerous operations, to the flabby skin from massive weight loss, but do you know what? Not once have I seen the perfect body at our club or any of the other clubs we have visited. There is no perfect body, I have finally discovered that. Start at being nude together at home, lock the doors pull the curtains and just enjoy each other's nakedness, build up the trust from there, perhaps you could even venture out into your backyard, make it fun pack a picnic lunch, spread a blanket down and enjoy the sunshine. Gentle, gentle, little wee steps towards perhaps a day visit to a club close by.
Just my humble thoughts but I do so hope it helps.
jackieinoz
Here are two other threads on the same topic:
Getting my wife involved
Wife is getting cold feet.
I find that most guys that describe their non-nudist spouse really have not sat them down and talked to them and debunked their myths that it's just a sexual thing. Really, sit her down in front of the computer and show her AANR and all of the resorts and beaches and women talk and how positive it is.
That's just one ingredient; not the solution itself. I liked Phil's quote, it sums it up nicely.
- There's a lot that goes into a spouse's "potential" for becoming a nudist. Sometimes, the anti-nudity views are so deeply ingrained that there's no amount of rational discussion that's going to change that fact. Very often it's the result of upbringing and education. I call them nudity-adverse spouses.
- Then you have nudity-reluctant spouses, whose views about nudity are more moderate, and the concerns are usually body-acceptance or sexually related (fear of voyeurism or being objectified). That can sometimes be debunked through conversation, debate and example. By example I mean setting the example and demonstrating comfort with nudity. But she has to be open to that for that approach to get anywhere.
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