Todays Nude Joke

A young woman was pulled over for speeding. A State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. The young woman said, I bet you are going to try to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. He replied, State...

The teacher had asked her new pupils to write a paragraph about what the did during the summer. All was quiet for several minutes and then one boy raised his hand and asked, "How do you spell sex?" The teacher thinking she heard wrong ask,...

Send someone over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!" "This is the Fire Department, lady," the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to...

There were 2 old people sitting on a park bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep". The other says, " Yes, I know, I heard it snore a couple of times.

Went to a movie yesterday that featured almost all of the cast without a stitch of clothing - a major motion picture!!! It was amazing to watch the characters throughout the movie not wearing clothes. I was a bit jealous and wanted to shed clothes...

Lady calls up police department: "Officer, there is a man exposing himself in the next building." Dispatcher: "OK, we'll be right over, lady." (Five minutes later at her apartment.) Officer: "Which way, lady?" Lady:...

Bob was in trouble, he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed and told him, "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. The next morning the wife woke, looked out the...

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis, curious, the tattoo artist asks him why would you want that? He replies, I have three reasons. 1. I like to play with money. 2. I like to watch my money grow. 3. $100 seems to be the only thing my...

A guy tells his friend he is a card carrying nudist. The friend asks where do you carry the card? Thanks "Zeke" for sharing that one with me!

The Head Nun tells the two new Nuns that they have to paint their room without getting paint on their new clothes. The one Nun says to the other, Hey, lets take all our clothes off to paint the room. They do this and start painting the room when...